What's the point of kumquats?

So I was tempted by a box of kumquats at Woodman's the other day. Brought them home and tried eating them the way the box suggested: chomp the peel, spit out the seeds, swallow the rest. Okay, so my instinctive resistance to eating the peel is surely not much different from whatever I had to overcome the first few times I ate a shrimp with the shell on. But the reward just wasn't there-- I ate a bitter, nasty fruit that seemed to be encased in a surgical bandage-like pith.

I thought, maybe there's something I can do with them. I googled up a kumquat sorbet and made it yesterday. Despite having more sugar than entire African villages consume in a year, the result is still... something smooth and creamy that's bitter and nasty. And left my mouth tasting like I'd been guzzling after shave.

Can anyone offer a good word for the kumquat? Or are we just lucky to live in an age and place where we have better things to eat?

Mike G wrote:Can anyone offer a good word for the kumquat?

As a 6th grader, I loved that I could say "kumquat" over and over again in class and get away with it, while words that were much less fun to say would get me in big trouble.

I like kumquats. Not everyone does. You do have to eat the skin, though, not just chomp it. Cut them in half, pick out the big seeds, eat the whole thing.

Yep..."kumquat" is awful fun to say in mixed company; kind of like "fistfuck," except I don't believe Mapplethorpe ever documented the now subaltern scene of kumquat and citron abusers. Sometimes a kumquat is just a kumquat. Much like the Buddha's Hand queried in another thread, I candy kumquats. Serve them alongside a pungent cheese; epoisses, red hawk, or stinking bishop. Growing up in Houston I had kumquat and fig trees in my backyard, instead of eating them I'd gather fistfuls and hurl them at cars.

Kumquats are something we always buy for Christmas, I've turned the Evanston Fire Department on to them, as they're often included in the fruit trays I usually send over for Christmas. Part of the key is to get ones that don't have big seeds: the seeds in particular are nasty and bitter, and seedier ones tend to be pithy. If you get good ones, it's like eating citrus peel straight-up with no pith: a big burst of orange oil that doesn't turn marmalade-flavor around sugar, something like the effect of an orange twist in a mixed drink. Somebody mentioned that when you bite down, it feels as though you're taking a direct shot of vitamin C.

I find the key is choosing the smallest, brightest-orange kumquats; they should be firm in texture as well. I've found the giant bin at H-Mart to be the best place to find them - but if you have kumquats already, try cutting them in half, seeding them, and see if you like them better.

I often roll them in colored sanding sugar (strictly for looks) and serve them as is, raw. I also cut them into rounds and serve them on top of something chocolate (usually some version of Peg Bracken's Pot de Chocolat) where they are particularly refreshing.

Mapplethorpe, kumquats, honestly, you kids think you invented everything. Here's the greatest use of "kumquats" in the history of art:



And if you think Uncle Bill wasn't slipping one past the censor, well, I could throw examples of his sneaky way with a double entendre past you all day ("Ogg Oggleby... sounds like a bubble in a bathtub").

Completely.Useless.Fruit.

=R=

A good word for the kumquat



Kumquats on homemade coconut milk sorbet or ice cream are heaven; this from a pic and post from last year.

Full disclosure: my wife was pregnant and we were laughing at a chart that told us how big the baby was in terms of fruits and vegetables; poppyseed, blueberry, kumquat, plum, you've seen them. I resolved to prepare the appropriate comparison item for each week, and when we got to kumquats I made this and we were charmed, and have enjoyed it often since. I remembered kumquats from my childhood since we would bug my folks incessantly for unusual food items we saw in the store, and they would usually capitulate.

An example of the type of chart for the uninitiated:

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/blog ... y.aspx?r=0

A more cynical take I love:

http://www.girlsgonechild.net/2008/06/c ... -size.html

ronnie_suburban wrote:Completely.Useless.Fruit.

Spoken like a man who's simply never had them the right way. I'm with Matt, here. Back in grad school days, we had a kumquat tree in the back yard (as well as--ya ready for this?--mandarin oranges, plums, figs, guavas, macadamia nuts, almonds, avocados, and pomegranates). And, though I can't put my finger on it at the moment, I've had at least one knockout dish with these remarkable little buggers.

I want to move to wherever you went to grad school!

Mike G:

that prescient Mr. Fields; just a typical day in my store including kumquats.

i love a good kumquat. unfortunately the only good ones i've had have been right off the tree. they don't grow well around here.

I grew up in a suburb of Sacto CA. Across the street from my tract home was a 5-acre orchard which basically had one of each--English walnuts, pomegranites, grapefruits, bamboo, etc. etc.--including a lonely kumquat tree. They got ripe during the Christmas holidays and were damn good. But only ripe, and right off the tree. The stuff we get in stores ANYwhere else in N. America bears no significant relation to the kumquats we ate off that tree.

Don't get me going about loquats....

Geo

Actually my kumquat sorbet seems to have mellowed over 24 hours; it's really not bad at all, much less of the aggressiveness bitterness it had yesterday, or the mouthwash feel. (Though it does leave a bit of an aftertaste to be washed down.)

Maybe it's like my experiments with blood orange sorbet, which yielded great sorbet once and pretty damn bitter sorbet twice.

I have a friend who showed me how to eat a kumquat and taught me to love them...the key: pop the whole thing in to your mouth and chew/chew/chew like crazy--really chew up the peel till it is tiny--the confusing thing about these fruits is that the peel is sweet and the fruit is tart/sour which is the opposite of most fruits. If you really macerate the peel, you might like them....!?

I've enjoyed kumquats either in a chutney or sliced and poached in a simple syrup. A little bit of heat takes away the bitterness I guess.

if they are bitter, something is wrong. the peel should be sweet, the pulp should be crazy sour like a lemon.

So how do you tell a wrong 'un from a right one?

It's not like there was a vast array of choices.

Mike G wrote:So how do you tell a wrong 'un from a right one?

It's not like there was a vast array of choices.

I've bought kumquats a couple of times around here, but they were lousy. I suggest prowling through the neighborhoods of Southern California. My MIL tells me the peak is not for another month or so.

I've rethought my orignal post on this thread and decided that kumquats are not useless. They're actually Mother Nature's way of bestowing superiority on every other citrus fruit on the planet.

=R=

I've become a kumquat fan in recent years, and usually eat them raw. Things I've discovered/decided:
1. Avoid ones that have any hint of green on the rind. If you can't avoid them, trim off the green (it's usually closest to the stem).
2. Smaller is better. (By my logic, smaller fruits have a higher ratio of peel to pulp, so less sourness.)
3. If you find you've gotten a batch with many seeds, split in half and remove seeds.
4. To bring out the essential oils, roll the kumquat between your fingers to soften it & enhance the flavors.

I make a few batches of candied kumquat rinds last year. It's somewhat labor intensive for an end product that I could easily eat in one sitting, but worth it.

Kumquat Chips
4 cups whole kumquats
2 cups sugar
1 cup water
Make syrup with sugar and water. Wash fruit and slices an X on the stem end. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Drain and cool. Slit kumquats and take out pulp. Drop in boiling syrup and cook for 10 minutes. Cover, let stand over night. Cook again for 20 minutes. Lift with tongs and place on waxed paper to cool overnight or longer. Fill with pecan and roll in granulated sugar. Store in refrigerator.
Source: http://www.kumquatgrowers.com/morerecipes.html

As an added bonus, the kumquat flavored simple syrup that's left over is a fantastic addition to a variety of drinks. However, you cannot reuse it to make a second batch of candied rinds.

Kennyz wrote:

Mike G wrote:Can anyone offer a good word for the kumquat?

As a 6th grader, I loved that I could say "kumquat" over and over again in class and get away with it, while words that were much less fun to say would get me in big trouble.

Kenny- That's so cute it's almost twee .

Saying kumquats are pointless is like saying tomatoes are, because 11 months out of the year they suck. When you get great kumquats (or tomatoes), they're fantastic - there's just a line between great kumquats and ones just not worth eating.

Granted, I was spoiled as a young child by having grandparents with kumquat trees (along with fruit trees of all sorts - ah, to live in Southern California).

For those that do like them, I've been playing around with Calamansi which are apparently a cross between kumquats and tangerines. Cheap and plentiful at Tai Nam, I've been making vodka infusions, candied calamansi, using the juice in Cuban mojo, etc.

Tai Nam
4925 North Broadway Street
Chicago, IL 60640
tainammarket.com‎

-Dan

ronnie_suburban wrote:Completely.Useless.Fruit.

As I stood in my grandparents' back yard, pulling kumquats off the tree and popping the tart little guys directly in to my mouth, I though "man, Ronnie sure is wrong"



-Dan

I think the problem is that ripe ones can't withstand the rigors of the commercial marketing chain. That's where they are different from oranges. Often, if you pull a ripe one off the tree, it leaves a hole in the peel, exposing the insides to air. They quickly spoil.

dansch wrote:

ronnie_suburban wrote:Completely.Useless.Fruit.

As I stood in my grandparents' back yard, pulling kumquats off the tree and popping the tart little guys directly in to my mouth, I though "man, Ronnie sure is wrong"

LOL, it surely wouldn't be the first time. I suppose that just because I've never had a good one doesn't mean they're useless. Beautiful shot, btw.

=R=

I have great respect for kumquats; as a kid I loved to eat them whole - not the seeds, but everything else, though. I also loved to suck lemons, so I guess I had a natural bent in that direction.

What I like best now is well-candied kumquats, pierced several times with a needle and boiled in a heavy syrup. The candying contrasts beautifully with the tartness of the pulp. They make a great snack.

Mike

Last week, I made an oil and vinegar/lemon dressing with chopped kumquats and a bit of orange juice for a platter of col steamed vegetables- beets, cauliflower, and green beans. No special design in choosing the veggies- they were just what I had on hand. I thought the beet/kumquat combination most effective. (BTW-isn't eveyone bored with the omnipresent beet-goat cheese-mesclun salad? Let's try to move on!)

MIL sent a box of kumquats from the OC. Apparently a very poor harvest this year. I made some Kumquat Collins with these and froze the rest. Wife makes kumquat/cranberry bread. I hate that kind of thing.

For the first time in years, I didn't buy a single kumquat. Every time I saw them in stores, they looked lousy and life is too short to eat lousy kumquats.