Well, not exactly worst thing I've eaten, but worst thing I've consumed [lately].

Solixir Awaken, a "sparkling botanical beverage" I picked up at Whole Foods. Best described as a Whole-Foodsy stab at a Red Bull. More importantly described as slightly south of horrendous.



The first thing that threw me off was the vitamin pee color, including a fluorescent yellow head of foam that I wish I captured with a picture. Must come from the turmeric that is listed within the ingredients of the otherwise barely noticeable "botanical extract blend."

This drink tastes like 6 parts almost flat seltzer, 1 part orange juice, with an herbal tea bag steeped in it for approximately 8 seconds. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Bleurgh.

--Rich

Last weekend, I needed a place to eat in Lakeview with a vegetarian friend and decided to try out Yummy Yummy. I took another friend's recommendation and ordered the Taro Wrapped and could not comprehend the appeal:



I can enjoy deep-fried taro for dim sum, but this was a huge mound of fried root vegetable covered in an overwhelming amount of sweet and mildly spicy glop. Never again.

That's pretty hilariously awful. "More taro root?"

Throughout this pregnancy I have had cravings for the kind of non-food food items I normally shun. Spam, Velveeta, donette gems, Twinkies - all sorts of things I wouldn't eat if not awash in a hormonal bath. Generally I don't indulge the cravings until they get really insistent (there are enough harmful things floating around in Chicago's air, no need to introduce crap into the bloodstream) but one thing I have allowed myself consistently is processed American cheese slices.

Normally I get them from Aldi, a quite serviceable cheeselike product for just $1.19 a package. Last time they were out of my usual brand, so I opted for the $.89 kind, thinking, how bad can it be?

How bad? I don't think there was any cheese in that cheese. It was barely cheese-colored, never mind cheese-flavored. It had the consistency of mucus and the flavor of a moldy sponge. The dog spat it out. Enough said.

I made the mistake of letting the kids go get their own dinner at the Lake County Fair. They said "hot dogs" and a decent looking stand was nearby. Instead they went to a nearby hamburger stand and got the worst flavor-enhanced lips-and-toenails burger patty I've ever tasted, well, that I've tasted since escaping elementary school, anyway. The sad thing is that Sammie's, a Lake County mini-chain with perfectly decent hamburgers was nearby. The saddest thing is... they liked them

RAB wrote:Well, not exactly worst thing I've eaten, but worst thing I've consumed [lately].

Mine: Cytomax Citrus "Performance Enhanced Drink"



I usually steer clear of sports drinks, but I picked up a cup of Cytomax by accident on a race course this morning, thinking it was water. Imagine yellow lemon-lime Gatorade but more concentrated, slightly bitter, with almost the consistency of syrup. I drank a mouthful but spit it out as soon as I tasted it. Unfortunately, since I don't stop running completely to drink, spitting it out meant that I effectively spit it on myself, which means that I was covered in Cytomax (yay, sticky!) for about five miles.

Cytomax was one of the race's sponsors, so there were bottles of it at the finish line. According to the label, Cytomax contains Alpha-L-Polylactate. "A recent study shows: Alpha-L-Polylactate provides fuel energy THREE TIMES FASTER. Alpha-L-Polylactate in Cytomax is used THREE TIMES MORE efficiently than glucose. Athletes completing a long hard ride (90 minutes at 65% of VO2max) can sprint up to 22% LONGER on Cytomax than when consuming another popular sports drink."

No, thanks.

happy_stomach wrote:Cytomax was one of the race's sponsors, so there were bottles of it at the finish line. According to the label, Cytomax contains Alpha-L-Polylactate. "A recent study shows: Alpha-L-Polylactate provides fuel energy THREE TIMES FASTER. Alpha-L-Polylactate in Cytomax is used THREE TIMES MORE efficiently than glucose. Athletes completing a long hard ride (90 minutes at 65% of VO2max) can sprint up to 22% LONGER on Cytomax than when consuming another popular sports drink."

Sounds like....

eatchicago wrote:

happy_stomach wrote:Cytomax was one of the race's sponsors, so there were bottles of it at the finish line. According to the label, Cytomax contains Alpha-L-Polylactate. "A recent study shows: Alpha-L-Polylactate provides fuel energy THREE TIMES FASTER. Alpha-L-Polylactate in Cytomax is used THREE TIMES MORE efficiently than glucose. Athletes completing a long hard ride (90 minutes at 65% of VO2max) can sprint up to 22% LONGER on Cytomax than when consuming another popular sports drink."

Sounds like....

But at least I would win at YELLING!!!

The less aggressive should try Muscle Milk, a sponsor of a race I ran in May--unless, of course, you're OK with walking around with a chicken breast in your back pocket (seriously).

happy_stomach wrote:Last weekend, I needed a place to eat in Lakeview with a vegetarian friend and decided to try out Yummy Yummy. I took another friend's recommendation and ordered the Taro Wrapped and could not comprehend the appeal:



I can enjoy deep-fried taro for dim sum, but this was a huge mound of fried root vegetable covered in an overwhelming amount of sweet and mildly spicy glop. Never again.

I had that at the Exchange. I didn't like it & found it too sweet, but then you already know I'm not really big on sauce or wet stuff . Try Peking style tofu, Mongolian Seitan, or not on the menu, house chili soy gluten.

Suzy CC, I'm so there with you. My husband, the main presliced-prewrapped-American-cheese-food consumer in the house, is always griping about what I pay for cheese for his sandwiches. So recently I bought a package of the Aldi slices. The texture was unlike anything I'd have thought of as food. In the Venn diagram of Things We Eat, notwithstanding the large overlap entitled Things My Dog Will Eat With Me That My Husband Won't, these fell entirely within the circle segment entitled Things Only He Will Eat.

pairs4life wrote:

happy_stomach wrote:Last weekend, I needed a place to eat in Lakeview with a vegetarian friend and decided to try out Yummy Yummy. I took another friend's recommendation and ordered the Taro Wrapped and could not comprehend the appeal:

I had that at the Exchange. I didn't like it & found it too sweet, but then you already know I'm not really big on sauce or wet stuff . Try Peking style tofu, Mongolian Seitan, or not on the menu, house chili soy gluten.

It's probably not likely I'll return to Yummy Yummy on my own choosing, but I did sample the Mongolian seitan from a friend the night I went. I found it merely generic and inoffensive. As far as these kinds of dishes go, and from my limited sampling of Yummy Yummy's menu, I much prefer the food at Loving Hut, which overall just seems prepared with a lighter hand.

Loving Hut (formerly Alice & Friends)
5812 N. Broadway
Chicago, IL 60660
773-275-8797

carne asada taco at the Logan Square Farmer's Market, from a stand run by some cafe called Cherubs. I've never been to the cafe, and the grey, unseasoned, chewing-gum-textured meat in this thing will not inspire me to try the place.

My hummus. It smelled like monkey and tasted as only a monkey could. I made Mr. Pie taste it first and he said, "interesting...I like that you put olives in it." There were no olives in it. I could probably blame it all on the fact that I soaked the chickpeas for about a week and they likely fermented in the pot. Anybody want the rest of a can of tahini?

On that same night I made dolmades but the rice wasn't finished cooking so they were crunchy. With Pita Inn a short drive away and meals for pocket change, neither of these things will be made by hand again. Call it helping the economy.

pielady: the tahini will keep forever in a glass jar in the back of your fridge-no need to throw it out. try again after the bad smell fades from your memory. justjoan

The ribs at Smokin M's. I had a hankerin' for ribs, and while Smoque, etc. is better and was told so by any number of people, I thought I would give the more local place a shot.

They got my name wrong, then forget about my wife's half chicken I ordered over the phone. I had to remind them.

When I got the stuff home, they had given me a half slab instead of the half chicken. The ribs were swimming in a tasteless sauce, which made them messy, not flavorful.

The people working there looked like they had just taken meth, as they made no eye contact, paid no attention to me or to detail. Based on the stuff on the walls, they did make sure that everyone who entered knew who won the Stanley Cup.

I know it was a Sunday night and all, but come on.

CAVEAT: THE FRIES WERE GREAT. HAND CUT

Pie Lady wrote:My hummus. It smelled like monkey and tasted as only a monkey could. I made Mr. Pie taste it first and he said, "interesting...I like that you put olives in it." There were no olives in it. I could probably blame it all on the fact that I soaked the chickpeas for about a week and they likely fermented in the pot. Anybody want the rest of a can of tahini?

On that same night I made dolmades but the rice wasn't finished cooking so they were crunchy. With Pita Inn a short drive away and meals for pocket change, neither of these things will be made by hand again. Call it helping the economy.

I went to Pita Inn last Saturday for another flawless helping of baba ghanosh, falafel, and lentil soup with mint tea.

You know they have a market next door for the shop on Dempster? I got rose water and pistachios there for the ice cream.

pairs4life wrote:

Pie Lady wrote:My hummus. It smelled like monkey and tasted as only a monkey could. I made Mr. Pie taste it first and he said, "interesting...I like that you put olives in it." There were no olives in it. I could probably blame it all on the fact that I soaked the chickpeas for about a week and they likely fermented in the pot. Anybody want the rest of a can of tahini?

On that same night I made dolmades but the rice wasn't finished cooking so they were crunchy. With Pita Inn a short drive away and meals for pocket change, neither of these things will be made by hand again. Call it helping the economy.

You know they have a market next door for the shop on Dempster? I got rose water and pistachios there for the ice cream.

I do, we always get the giant tubs of hummus and econo-pita for our annual Halloween party. I'm so glad they're close, and they're even closer to work so I can go for lunch.
The problem with Pita Inn is just as you stated...they're flawless. I could order everything. Their dolmades are so good they feel like I'm eating something bad for me. Next time you're there, try the raspberry malt beverage (non alcoholic).

Lunch at Tuscany Cafe in the United building today with an old friend (her pick as it was near her office). I ordered the salad nicoise which consisted of iceberg lettuce, mediocre tomatoes (in August for heaven's sake), a tasteless hard boiled egg with a sugary sweet vinegar dressing. The tuna and green beans were passable so they were the only things that were eaten. Truly the worst salad I've had in a long, long time.

mbh wrote:Lunch at Tuscany Cafe in the United building today with an old friend (her pick as it was near her office). I ordered the salad nicoise which consisted of iceberg lettuce, mediocre tomatoes (in August for heaven's sake), a tasteless hard boiled egg with a sugary sweet vinegar dressing. The tuna and green beans were passable so they were the only things that were eaten. Truly the worst salad I've had in a long, long time.

I work in the United Building, so I've learned some tricks with Tuscany. But first, I must recognize that, their food has suffered quite a bit, as their lunch business has dwindled significantly due to people working in the United Building getting laid off in droves over the past year or so, or due to salary freezes, cuts, or whatnot, brown-bagging it more than usual. (Seriously, for a long time, I'd see at least three people per day carrying the tell-tale brown box out of the building at the end of the day. Depressing.) That Tuscany laid off (or reassigned) seemingly half of its staff about 8 months ago was another sign that its business was suffering. Thus, ordering lunch at Tuscany is more of a land-mine endeavor than it was, trying to negotiate the potential hits-and-misses. Having said that, Mondays are the worst day to order salads because all the ingredients you mentioned have been sitting in the refrigerator all weekend. My rule of thumb is to eye the ingredients first, and if they look the slightest worse for the wear, move on to something else. Of course, none of what I said diminishes your salad as being the WT[I]E[L].

Re. Yummy, Yummy: (This is the tiny place a bit south of Wellington on Broadway, right?) As far as I can tell, they do one thing well---the dried chili chicken. It's a very generous portion of addictively crunchy, salty, just enough chili prickly, well-fried chicken bits. I actively crave it from time to time. Nothing else I've ever had there (which isn't much) comes close.

aschie30 wrote:

mbh wrote:Lunch at Tuscany Cafe in the United building today with an old friend (her pick as it was near her office). I ordered the salad nicoise which consisted of iceberg lettuce, mediocre tomatoes (in August for heaven's sake), a tasteless hard boiled egg with a sugary sweet vinegar dressing. The tuna and green beans were passable so they were the only things that were eaten. Truly the worst salad I've had in a long, long time.

I work in the United Building, so I've learned some tricks with Tuscany. But first, I must recognize that, their food has suffered quite a bit, as their lunch business has dwindled significantly due to people working in the United Building getting laid off in droves over the past year or so, or due to salary freezes, cuts, or whatnot, brown-bagging it more than usual. (Seriously, for a long time, I'd see at least three people per day carrying the tell-tale brown box out of the building at the end of the day. Depressing.) That Tuscany laid off (or reassigned) seemingly half of its staff about 8 months ago was another sign that its business was suffering. Thus, ordering lunch at Tuscany is more of a land-mine endeavor than it was, trying to negotiate the potential hits-and-misses. Having said that, Mondays are the worst day to order salads because all the ingredients you mentioned have been sitting in the refrigerator all weekend. My rule of thumb is to eye the ingredients first, and if they look the slightest worse for the wear, move on to something else. Of course, none of what I said diminishes your salad as being the WT[I]E[L].

Thanks for the advice, I'll probably wind up eating there again because of my friend so I'll be a little more judicious with my ordering. I have to say it's been almost a year since I last had lunch there and it seemed a lot more empty today.

Wings and sliders at the Tilted Kilt. Needing a central meeting place before a concert last night we ended up there. Luckily the beers were cheap and cold. The food was quite inedible. The sliders reminded me of burgers that were served in school. The wings were soggy and served with some sort of sweet and sour sauce. Really, really, bad.

A plate of seared foie gras with potatos and currant jam at Cafe Kör in Budapest's downtown (Belvaros/Lipotvaros) district. I believe Binko recommended it somewhere here. Phenomenal. I will be in Hungary for a while and will give a full report with pics when I get home.

Viszontlátás,

Habíbí

You mean phenomenally bad? 'Cuz you're in the wrong thread otherwise...

Wrong thread. Thx. Dangers of Iphone.

The "Simple Chicken Sandwich" from Popeye's on Michigan & Grand. In case you can't tell, the center of the sandwich is essentially raw. Chick-fil-a can't get here soon enough...

kl1191 wrote:The "Simple Chicken Sandwich" from Popeye's on Michigan & Grand. In case you can't tell, the center of the sandwich is essentially raw. Chick-fil-a can't get here soon enough...

wow, that's horrible.

I hope you were able to take that back. So sorry! That's worse than getting a knuckle in your burrito.

Pie Lady wrote:I hope you were able to take that back. So sorry! That's worse than getting a knuckle in your burrito.

I didn't bother...I was already back at the office, and I don't know what good would have come of it. I filed a complaint with corporate and retained the "evidence" in the event I got massively ill from the one bite I took, but that was 48 hours ago, and I'm still here.

There's a lot of great food in Hyde Park, and I usually refrain from knocking the mom and pop shops down here unless they really screw up since I want more people to come down and patronize places (particularly The Nile, Bonjour Bakery, Rajun Cajun, and the nearby Zaleski and Horvath).

But I have to ding this one: tom yum at Thai 55, one of the three Thai places on three adjacent blocks on 55th east of the Metra tracks. One-note sour broth with insipid chili oil floating on top, no lemongrass, boiled gristly chicken at the bottom, and in the biggest insult, one thick chunk of mealy tomato suspended in the middle. Boo.

For those seeking an alternative, I prefer Siam (1639 E 55th). Basil chicken, red curry catfish, dried beef, massaman curry, lunch specials.