Luther Burger in a Cardiac Ward

Luther Burger in a Cardiac Ward

Feel strong and healthy? Sit in a wheel chair. You will become immediately enervated, impotent, weak with loss of control.



Once in the room, I made it very clear what my priorities were. The nurse wrote my important things on a whiteboard in front of my bed.



It took some time explaining to the hospital kitchen how to prepare a proper Luther Burger:



Then the Director of Food Service delivered my meal, explaining that the hospital never, but NEVER would normally serve this to a patient. For me, he figured it wouldn’t make much difference, though he did not approve. He was cool.



The Luther Burger looks pretty damn good, doesn’t it?



It tasted pretty damn good too, tongue-wagging, finger-licking (yes, even me), lip-smacking good. I like Gus’ at WASC, but this hospital rendition was too much. Too good.



The Director of Food Service actually brought me another hamburger on a regular bun, in hopes I would eat that instead of this sugar-glazed, savory monstrosity I had asked him to create. I ate some of the regular burger too.

I asked about wine, but the hospital didn’t have any (!!), so I settled on a 2011 Mr. Pure Prune.



The juice paired very well with the Luther Burger: the plumy sweetness bumped up the bacon flavor, coordinated with the glazed donut, and, of course, fruit and cheese are always good together…plus, the juice was pretty much the same color as the hamburger.

Not bad.

No need to include the address; this place doesn’t take reservations.

Hi,

I just informed my Mother of your food choices. She is a veteran of many a jolly hospital stay. When I described your selection of a Luther Burger, her reaction varied from: "Really? That's weird." "No hospital food service would serve that." "He's a strange man."

We hang up, then she calls back, "What is a Luther Burger?" After I explained again, she just could not believe you pulled it off.

She called back yet again, but this time to comment on an obituary I suggested she read.

Glad we can joke and not be reading your obit today!

Continued good health, I hope.

Regards,

I can't believe you got a hospital to serve that to you - that's amazing (and very delicious looking)!

Perhaps you can get them to serve you an Elvis Breakfast Sandwich in the morning?

Mr. Hammond,

You are Insane in the Membrane. And I mean that as the highest possible compliment.

Enjoy,
Gary

Is that covered by Blue Cross?

Truthfully, how much worse is this than many a typical hospital breakfast of doughnut, eggs, bacon, white toast and juice? It's funny that they were horrified, when they're serving all these things, often together (with the exception of the burger,) anyway.

Be honest: did you slip him a C-note?

I'm torn between chuckling at the subversive humor in this (and I do see that, and am chuckling) and being sincerely, unsnarkily distressed that a hospital would permit this for a heart patient. The distress is twofold--one, for hospital practices, and two, for you. Get well soon, despite the subversion.

A perfect example of ... you will never know if you don't ask.

Mhays wrote:Truthfully, how much worse is this than many a typical hospital breakfast of doughnut, eggs, bacon, white toast and juice? It's funny that they were horrified, when they're serving all these things, often together (with the exception of the burger,) anyway.

I've got to start hanging out in a better class of hospitals, then, as when I had my angioplasty I can assure you no food like that was on the menu that Swedish Covenant offered me (but the post-procedure foot massage was a nice and welcome touch!).

Hammond, hope you are feeling well.

David -- this is absolutely typical of the character of a man who would quote Addison DeWitt in his footer...

I hope you enjoyed that Luther Burger -- you may not get another for awhile. That's probably a good thing, Mr. H -- moderation is good!

Feel better!

Shannon

Mhays wrote:Truthfully, how much worse is this than many a typical hospital breakfast of doughnut, eggs, bacon, white toast and juice? It's funny that they were horrified, when they're serving all these things, often together (with the exception of the burger,) anyway.

Agreed with the prior. I have not seen that on the menu for cardiac patients of any place that I ran or where i was a patient.

Coincidence: I was at Skokie Hospital Thursday night to prep for an angiogram on Friday (everything OK; had a false alarm while exercising) -- and all I got for dinner was a tasteless chicken breast covered in a gloppy barbecue sauce. Which hospital broke protocol -- and does your cardiologist read our site?
>>Brent

dave you are crazy man... hope everything worked/works out and wish you a speedy recovery

Hi,

The breakfast described by MHays may be offered in the maternity ward.

My Mom had open heart surgery a few years ago. When I came to visit her in the post surgical intensive care unit, I inquired with the nurse if I could bring her coffee and donuts. Her eyes just about shot out of her head, between gritted teeth, "That man behind that computer is your Mother's cardiac surgeon. You can only hope he did not hear you."

I got the message loud and clear.

Regards,

LTH,

I have to agree with MHays here. I'm a type 2 diabetic, and several years ago at Northwestern, I had an angioscopy procedure. The lunch that was served to me afterwards consisted of jello with fruit, a sandwich on white bread and cake for dessert with apple juice as well. Had to be 120 grams or more of carbohydrate, or more than double the amount that should be consumed at one sitting by an adult male diabetic.

The point is, if they have all those foods to offer their cardiac patients - does it really matter which configuration they offer them in? I'm curious what the sides were. Is that mac and cheese?

I know many hospitals are getting better about which foods they serve their patients - but I think EvilRonnie is also right; it probably varies widely from hospital to hospital. Frankly, that Luther burger and the accompanying broccoli look more freshly prepared than my last couple of hospital meals; I was in the cardiac ward several years ago (not for a heart issue, it was a holiday and they consolidated wards) and was served greasy bacon and eggs.

BTW, David - I hope you feel better soon, I just realized I didn't say so before.

Mhays wrote:The point is, if they have all those foods to offer their cardiac patients - does it really matter which configuration they offer them in? I'm curious what the sides were. Is that mac and cheese?

I know many hospitals are getting better about which foods they serve their patients - but I think EvilRonnie is also right; it probably varies widely from hospital to hospital. Frankly, that Luther burger and the accompanying broccoli look more freshly prepared than my last couple of hospital meals; I was in the cardiac ward several years ago (not for a heart issue, it was a holiday and they consolidated wards) and was served greasy bacon and eggs.

BTW, David - I hope you feel better soon, I just realized I didn't say so before.

That is mac and cheese, and The Wife thought it was pretty good and, yes, the veggies and some fish we ordered were done very well, all things considered.

Appreciate the thoughts, sincerely, but please be assured I am in fine health and do not intend this culinary adventure to make light of those who have serious cardiac conditions and no choice about where they're going to dine on Friday night.

David Hammond wrote:Luther Burger in a Cardiac Ward

Separated at birth?



SSDD

headcase, thanks, when the movie of this adventure is made, I'd be happy having Sam Waterston play me, Forest Whittaker would be appropriately cast as the food service man, and as The Wife, of course, Charro.

HI,

If people don't like the food served in a hospital, despite all the fine toothed considerations of a dietician. They do plan B, which is have their family and friends bring food to them. When my Mom was in a post surgical convalescent center (nursing home), I brought her food. This had to be done without my Dad's notice, because he wanted her to eat only 'correct' meals.

Sometimes the biggest obsticle is getting sick people to eat anything. A plate that has been reviewed by a dietician is pretty void of everything people come to enjoy in their food: taste as in 'tastes good.'

Last year when I took a tour of the Navy Culinary School. There are dietician reviewed recipes used in their food service. If the cooks find a recipe from another source, it must be combed through by a dietician. These dieticians allow one fried food meal per week, experience may differ but that's what they said. Some around me were thrilled, "They will loose their taste for fried foods." I threw in, "This is social engineering. The moment those guys are on leave, they will do exactly what the dietician does not want them to do."

Regards,

Cathy2 wrote:HI,

If people don't like the food served in a hospital, despite all the fine toothed considerations of a dietician. They do plan B, which is have their family and friends bring food to them. When my Mom was in a post surgical convalescent center (nursing home), I brought her food. This had to be done without my Dad's notice, because he wanted her to eat only 'correct' meals.

Sometimes the biggest obsticle is getting sick people to eat anything. A plate that has been reviewed by a dietician is pretty void of everything people come to enjoy in their food: taste as in 'tastes good.'

Last year when I took a tour of the Navy Culinary School. There are dietician reviewed recipes used in their food service. If the cooks find a recipe from another source, it must be combed through by a dietician. These dieticians allow one fried food meal per week, experience may differ but that's what they said. Some around me were thrilled, "They will loose their taste for fried foods." I threw in, "This is social engineering. The moment those guys are on leave, they will do exactly what the dietician does not want them to do."

Regards,

Bringing in food to the hospital, I understand, is becoming a general practice. I'm all for giving sick people food that will make them feel better, but it seems reckless to ignore the direction of a dietician who designs individual patient diets to achieve medical outcomes. Many times, perhaps, it doesn't matter; if you're in the hospital for a broken foot, it seems like you should be able to eat whatever you want; if you're in the hospital for a cardiac event, or some surgery, then my tendency would be to go with professional opinion, no matter how unappetizing.

Of course, however, it’s possible to pick your hospital; I’d try to pick one that had a rep for better food (there are supposed to be a number of good food hospitals, for instance, on the North Shore).

Cathy2 wrote:HI,

If people don't like the food served in a hospital, despite all the fine toothed considerations of a dietician. They do plan B, which is have their family and friends bring food to them. When my Mom was in a post surgical convalescent center (nursing home), I brought her food. This had to be done without my Dad's notice, because he wanted her to eat only 'correct' meals.

Sometimes the biggest obsticle is getting sick people to eat anything. A plate that has been reviewed by a dietician is pretty void of everything people come to enjoy in their food: taste as in 'tastes good.'

To a point, I agree. Keeping terminal or wasting patients on a rigid diets is not really necessary.

However, when you have a renal/cardiac patient and the family brings in a steady diet of fried chicken, country ham, and the like, recovery is seriously delayed and at thousands a day ...

My father is in a convalescent home. He is now on dialysis. The diet they posted for him is pretty extensive, but yes, fried foods are not allowed. We go by once a week and bring him food that fits the list. I made the mistake once of bringing french fries for myself. He started stealing them off my plate. So due to his total lack of control, I now have to refrain from bringing in different food than I'm giving him.

David,
Hope you are feeling better.

Got to love your chutzpah. I hope all is well!

I'm in fine health and did not mean to cause anyone unnecessary concern.

An impressive feat, David. And very illustrative photos. I just can't believe they actually got the order right. I've never attempted to order something as unique as a Luther burger in a hospital, but asking questions about food and/or making small requests outside of the menu have been futile in my experience.

I just ran a big race and thought of you as I sat down to my post-race meal. I forgot to slip off my heart rate monitor until just before the food arrived, which is what brought your hospital visit to mind. A Luther burger would have disrupted my very firm post-race food ritual of Caesar salad and French fries, but I did make sure to ask for "crisp" fries in your honor, per your standing advice.

David Hammond wrote:I'm in fine health and did not mean to cause anyone unnecessary concern.

I hereby nominate you for the 1st Annual LTH Forum Social Engineering Award