Please read and critique my Speech!

Hi LTHers!
As some of you may know, I'm doing a school speech on The Great Chicago Food Truck Movement. Some of you have already offered up some fantastic advice, and it is very appreciated. I was hoping that maybe a few of you wouldn't mind reading over my outline for my speech and letting me know what you think? I know that you're all honest, (but gentle, I hope!), and I would love to have your opinions.
Thanks so much!
Bells

FUNDAMENTALS OF SPEECH COMMUNICATION
INFORMATIVE PRESENTATION OUTLINE (TEMPLATE)

TOPIC/TITLE: The Great Chicago Food Truck Movement

GENERAL PURPOSE: To inform the audience of the Food Truck Movement and the tribulations that they’re facing.

SPECIFIC PURPOSE: To inform the audience on the trials of food truck owners including the city’s unwillingness thus far in assisting these entrepreneurs in their endeavors via ordinances and regulations, the competitive resistance that they’re receiving from local restaurants, and their inability to bring their product to the citizens of Chicago because of parking ordinances.


INTRODUCTION:

I. (Attention getter) - We all know that Chicago is known for their hotdogs. We even have a style of hotdog named after our great city. But did you know that today, you could not walk out of here, find a vendor, and LEGALLY purchase a Chicago style hotdog from a Chicago street vendor? Why? Because the city of Chicago prevents us from doing so.

II. (Relevance) – We all have to eat. Some of us enjoy it more than others, but it is only human nature to crave variety. Meld that variety with convenience, and you have the foundation for a food truck.

III. (Credibility) – I have personally had the pleasure of eating from several food trucks and street vendors, but only a few of which were in Chicago. From fried noodles in Thailand, to slow roasted beef kabobs on the streets of New York, there is no mistaking that street food is a cultural phenomenon.

IV. (Thesis/Preview) – The concept of the food truck or mobile food vending has been around for centuries, yet the City of Chicago continues to hinder its growth. Today we will explore some of the problems facing The Chicago Food truck Movement, and what may be done to remedy them.


BODY:

I. One of the issues that Chicago Food Truck Vendors face is the current City Ordinances.
A. Under the current Chicago City Ordinances, no Chicago Food Truck owner may cook, cut, or alter food from its original state once it is on the Food Truck.
1. Because of this law, it is necessary for each vendor to rent and license a commercial kitchen in which to prepare their food.
2. This ordinance not only costs the vendors extra money, but also prevents them from providing fresh, personalized, hot food to their patrons, which is their ultimate goal.

B. This problem could easily be remedied by altering the current health codes and ordinances and allowing food truck owners to cook their food under strict sanitary conditions within the confines of their food trucks.
1. Several of the members of The Movement have asked for this legislature to be altered, and have been awaiting its docket placement for quite some time. Whether it will be changed or not remains to be seen.
2. If the docket is accepted, it will not only allow food truck owners the ability to serve their food in a fresher, more convenient way, but will also allow for more variety to consumers like you and I.

(Transition) The City is not the only problem that these entrepreneurs have faced though. Believe it or not, they are also facing opposition from within their own culinary community.


II. Local restaurateurs have also been complaining about the Chicago Food Truck Movement.
A. Some local restaurant owners are under the impression that the food trucks are in a sense stealing their real estate.
1. Because local restaurant owners pay premium prices for their location, they feel that it’s unfair for food truck owners to have the same advantages of their location without having to pay the rent or taxes for it.
2. As of now, the City ordinance states that a mobile food vendor must remain a minimum of 200 feet away from any establishment that sells similar food items. As Chef Phillip Foss, owner of The Meatyball Mobile puts it “Think about it. That’s 2/3 of a professional football field!” He also states that he feels that this is a form of anti-capitalism, anti-competitiveness, and simply unfair. As a local restaurant owner as well as a food truck owner, I think that he would know.
B. Several people in the food truck industry feel that even the smallest change in this ordinance could help them tremendously
1. With the change in ordinance, food truck vendors would no longer be at odds with the local restaurant owners, and would have their own right to sell their wares to passersby.
2. Local restaurant owners would ideally continue to serve those patrons that are in the mood for a sit down meal, while food trucks would be able to serve up a quick meal on the go.


(Transition) With their newfound rights, food truck vendors would be able to work side by side with local restaurant owners without the hindrance of being ridiculed, chased off, or ticketed for parking on a public street.

III. This bring us to the final, and possibly the most important issue that food truck owners are facing which is the city’s policy on parking.
A. As of right now, there are no specified parking spaces allotted for Chicago Food Trucks. The ordinance also states that they may not remain parked in one spot for more than 2 hours.
1. The lack of designated food truck parking on Chicago streets gives the vendors nowhere to go and leaves them feeling misplaced. Chef Foss mentioned that the price of a few parking tickets can easily eat up most of the profit of a day’s work.
2. With parking so scarce, it is also nearly impossible for the food trucks to comply with the aforementioned rule about staying away from local businesses.
B. If parking were made more readily available to food truck owners, it would alleviate several problems.
1. With designated parking, whether it be a lot, or street parking, food truck vendors would be able to establish a relationship with return customers. As it is now, customers must use Twitter or Facebook to find their favorite food trucks throughout the city.
2. Designated parking would also be effective in calming the rift between restaurateurs and food truck owners. Without the discrepancies of who should be where, and with clear lines drawn on professional space, the tension may not dissipate completely, but would certainly lessen.

CONCLUSION:

(Restatement/ Summary) - As is evident by today’s speech, there are many problems facing those who own food trucks in Chicago. From parking, to restaurant resistance, and city ordinances, their problems are without end, but we also learned that by communication and working together, these issues are not going untreated.

III. ("Clincher") – So when you walk out of this classroom today, hungry and wishing you had an alternative to the calorie laden cheesy fries in the campus cafeteria, think about what could be. Think about that Chicago style hotdog that you can’t get on your own streets, and consider what that means to you. We are a world class city known for our food, and we could have convenient world class options at a reasonable price. The question is, how long will we be forced to wait for it?

HI,

I presume this is fleshed out for our edification. I suppose you will be delivering this talk extemporaneously.

Your notes are pretty extensive presently, which may be what your instructor desired. When I took speech, we were advised to have the introduction and closing written out, especially important if you are nervous initially. Major topic sentences and transitions spelled out. Details use keywords or phrases to keep you on track and remind yourself what you intend to state. If you use your outline as presented above, you might find yourself reading from your notes extensively. If you are reading to your audience, it is less engaging.

If you use powerpoint, use images and not words. Your audience can read, you want them to listen to you. Too often 'professional' speeches practically have the content stated in each slide. It is quite painful when you find the lecturer reading from his slide to you.

I recognize you wanted feedback on the content. So shoot me!

Regards,

Cathy,

ALL feedback is appreciated. My professor asked for a very involved outline, but yes, I'll be using keynotes/ notecards for the actual presentation.
I am a very shy person, and a "nervous nelly", so I'm sure I won't remember 1/2 of what I've written, but as long as she finds it acceptable, I think I'll be ok.
I think she probably wants to know what I'm "meaning" to say more than anything, 'cause Lord knows, it ain't gonna sound like it's written!

Thanks for the pointers!!! I'll be sure to use them

HI,

The few times I have met you, shy was not what I'd associated with you.

You seem to have prepared and thought out your talk. You will surprise yourself and practically go on autopilot as you deliver with time flying by faster than you expect.

Some of the worst speakers I have witnessed are from teachers/professors. Some don't prepare their content carefully like you and I may do. Somehow they believe addressing a class is similar to an audience, unfortunately they come ill prepared and wing it.

I once followed a speaker whose talk drifted badly. He ate into my time. I didn't mind, because my timing indicated I needed less time than the allotment.

I am confident you will do well, because you are so well prepared.

Regards,

I just noticed the thread. How did the speech go? Are you taking it on the road (along with the trucks)?

As Cathy commented, it is impressively detailed.

Hi guys,
I'm giving the speech tomorrow, as I had to leave town to go to Florida and couldn't get it done beforehand. I'm actually making the notecards now. I'm sure it will be fine, and I thank you all so much for helping me out!