Support Group: Foodies with dietary limitations

This thread on healthy eats got me thinking about a topic that's come to mind a lot recently.

It's tough to be a foodie when you have dietary restrictions, regardless of whether the reason is medical, religious or personal.

I've read any number of threads on LTH where people have mentioned having food allergies, sensitivities, aversions & restrictions. For the most part, LTHers seem to be a pretty resilient and adaptable bunch....I've never read one of "those messages" (which seem prevalent on many other boards) where someone has complained about a restaurant failing to sufficiently accommodate them. I think we're probably just a bit more flexible and understanding than the average crowd. We do our research in advance, usually know if a restaurant is willing to adjust dishes (within reason) and don't seem to get bent out of shape if it can't be so.

I'll give my personal example. I'll I keep drooling over the pictures in the Lao Hunan thread but am reluctant to venture there for two simple reasons: My body no longer tolerates very fatty foods or very spicy foods. And I haven't seen many examples of dishes that trend toward the lean and more mild ends of the scale. But I get it...that's what food from Hunan is like. So I figure I'll continue to live vicariously through the thread and if--one day--I notice some dishes that seem to fit my personal restrictions, I'll give it a shot. Until then, this girl will just have to dream (and enjoys the hundreds of other amazing restaurants Chicago has to offer).

I've thought about starting a thread like this for some time. I'm allergic to shellfish - that's crustaceans (shrimp, crab, lobster) but not mollusks (mussels, scallops, clams). Most restaurants try to play it safe and substitute both when I mention my allergies.

When I took my brother to Topolobampo this summer, we both got tasting menus which had shellfish in them. Substitution was no problem, but my dear brother wouldn't shut up about how good the damned shrimp were for the entire night. He just kept going on and on and on about how that was the best shrimp he'd ever tasted. It made me feel good to know he enjoyed it that much (especially since he lived in Japan for several years, and was no stranger to fresh seafood), but still - I wanted to punch him. If only he weren't six inches taller and 80 pounds heavier than me, I totally would have made him suffer for it.

It's not easy growing up with that allergy in a shellfish-loving Chinese home (though the fact that my Mom is an RN literally saved my life on one occasion), and I still feel incredibly self-conscious about it. Restaurants are pretty understanding these days, but it's a pretty big insult to go to someone's home and turn away the host's food, and I've done that more times than I care to remember.

That actually makes me less tolerant of people who insist on trendy dietary restrictions without sound reasons for them. For example, people without ciliac disease who insist on gluten-free menus for whatever reason. It's hard enough to get by if you really do have a medical reason for the restriction; I feel personally affronted when people make a choice to do so. It's almost Munchausen syndrome.

Independent George wrote:That actually makes me less tolerant of people who insist on trendy dietary restrictions without sound reasons for them. For example, people without ciliac disease who insist on gluten-free menus for whatever reason. It's hard enough to get by if you really do have a medical reason for the restriction; I feel personally affronted when people make a choice to do so. It's almost Munchausen syndrome.

Years ago, but many years into my choosing not to eating animals, we were at the home of a Frenchman with a first name like Jean then a hyphen and a 2nd name, and his wife. They were aware that I didn't eat animals, we'd dined with them elsewhere on other occasions, and he had prepared a delicious meal for me. They had a lovely, and extravagant offering of fish cheeks and one of the others, an omnivore, just refused. It was a bit maddening. I watched an acclaimed scholar in his field act like a small child in response to the host's request to just try it. After that, I decided there was one more role of the host, and that was to ask the guests not only about allergies and dietary restrictions, but also about darkest and strongest dislikes or if I don't want to ask, I'm never offended when someone takes a pass on coleslaw, or braised cabbage, or boiled peanuts in my home.

They don't like it they don't like it and I don't take offense.

pairs4life wrote:

Independent George wrote:That actually makes me less tolerant of people who insist on trendy dietary restrictions without sound reasons for them. For example, people without ciliac disease who insist on gluten-free menus for whatever reason. It's hard enough to get by if you really do have a medical reason for the restriction; I feel personally affronted when people make a choice to do so. It's almost Munchausen syndrome.

Years ago, but many years into my choosing not to eating animals, we were at the home of a Frenchman with a first name like Jean then a hyphen and a 2nd name, and his wife. They were aware that I didn't eat animals, we'd dined with them elsewhere on other occasions, and he had prepared a delicious meal for me. They had a lovely, and extravagant offering of fish cheeks and one of the others, an omnivore, just refused. It was a bit maddening. I watched an acclaimed scholar in his field act like a small child in response to the host's request to just try it. After that, I decided there was one more role of the host, and that was to ask the guests not only about allergies and dietary restrictions, but also about darkest and strongest dislikes or if I don't want to ask, I'm never offended when someone takes a pass on coleslaw, or braised cabbage, or boiled peanuts in my home.

They don't like it they don't like it and I don't take offense.

I have many thoughts on this, having been on both the requesting end and the receiving end of special requests. My attitude: I don't expect anyone to bend over backward to accommodate my needs and I will go out of my way to make things as easy as possible for them. On the flip side, I'll bend over backward to honor a request if I like you or if you make it in a a respectful way. But if you're a pain in the neck, I might not be gracious about it.

This summer, for example, I was experimenting with a variety of diets to see if they had any affect on some GI issues I was experiencing. At various times I was eating vegan (or "vegan on days when I'm not eating pork belly," as I put it), low dairy and no dairy. The only thing I didn't try was gluten-free, thank goodness, because my symptoms didn't match up with its classic presentation. A few times while on these low/no dairy diets I was a guest in other people's homes. The first thing I did upon arriving or en route was to purchase almond milk for my coffee or cereal...that made breakfast pain free. Beyond that, my mantra is, "Don't go out of your way or change what you're cooking. I'm sure there will be something on the table that I can eat, or I'll fix myself a snack if I need to." And then I just did the best I could. Yes, there were a few meals where I'm sure I got some dairy. For that particular situation--I could simply start the experiment over again the next day--it wasn't the end of the world.

I realize, however, that I'm fortunate--I only have one true food sensitivity. (Eating bell peppers is guaranteed to cause unpleasant and sometimes painful side effects.) But even then I still have difficulty. My own father includes them in his paella recipe & has a "pick them out" attitude. That's fine, except that it's impossible to separate the juice of a cooked bell pepper from the other cooking liquid, so even if I never put an actual pepper in my mouth, every bite of paella would have other ingredients which cooked in the peppers' juices.**

On the flip side: I cooked my own paella recipe for 14 people at another friend's house for New Year's Eve. One friend--who I adore--is the pickiest eater under the sun. So even though we didn't arrive and start cooking until sometime after 7 pm, I still managed to serve a glorious seafood paella to 13 people and plate of plain roast chicken and white rice to my picky friend. And I was happy to do it, despite the someone hectic and stressful cooking environment.



**And try explaining that you're allergic to bell peppers when traveling around the world. It's a food sometimes known as capsicum, pimiento, green pepper (regardless of the color), chili pepper, sweet pepper, etc., in various cultures and languages. I can't tell you how often I've been served dishes with no black pepper seasoning but with bell pepper. My Mom's suggested that I take to carrying a photo of the offending plant on my cell phone.

chgoeditor wrote:**And try explaining that you're allergic to bell peppers when traveling around the world. It's a food sometimes known as capsicum, pimiento, green pepper (regardless of the color), chili pepper, sweet pepper, etc., in various cultures and languages. I can't tell you how often I've been served dishes with no black pepper seasoning but with bell pepper. My Mom's suggested that I take to carrying a photo of the offending plant on my cell phone.

Yes, you should, absolutely, and make sure you learn the word for it and how to pronounce it before you go. Because whether you are allergic and might die, or just can't digest it for other reasons (lacking an enzyme, for instance) you don't want to have your and their evening ruined.

As to the idea of "pick it out", yeah, no.

Oh, Chgoeditor, I am so sorry to hear of your bell pepper situation, and so sympathetic. I am almost lethally intolerant of bell peppers (my doctor says I lack the enzyme to process them; projectile vomit and incredible stomach cramps when I get near them) and find it challenging, since chefs commonly think bell peppers are a way to add color to dishes but don't feel the need to list them on the menu. I recently had a reaction to a glass of chardonnay that was supper bell-peppery. People often look at me like I'm making it up, since the veggies seem so innocuous. If you ever need a foodie dining companion, I'm your gal!

annak wrote: I recently had a reaction to a glass of chardonnay that was supper bell-peppery.

I don't understand.. someone had handled bell peppers and then the glass? They had stored bell peppers in the wine glass? Something else?

I think the grapes had been grown in soil close to bell peppers. I know that seems insanely sensitive, but according to that reputable source, The Interwebs, bell pepper overtones are a kind of bane to wine growers. I could smell it immediately, but drank a couple of sips anyway -- with serious consequences. Nuts, I know.

annak wrote:...since chefs commonly think bell peppers are a way to add color to dishes but don't feel the need to list them on the menu.

Yes! I can't count the number of times I've read a menu, eliminated 9 out of 10 dishes that list bell peppers as an ingredient, order the 10th dish, then it's served and includes....bell peppers!

And the places that insist on throwing a handful of diced green/red/yellow peppers on top of every dish for color? Unimaginative chef alert! (At least those usually aren't cooked in, so I can often scrape them off without any ill effects.)

Plus I just shake my head when I mention to the waiter that I have a bell pepper sensitivity & a dining companion says, "Oh, you'd like them if you had them prepared correctly." Umm...I never said I didn't like them, just that I couldn't eat them.

annak wrote:I think the grapes had been grown in soil close to bell peppers. I know that seems insanely sensitive, but according to that reputable source, The Interwebs, bell pepper overtones are a kind of bane to wine growers. I could smell it immediately, but drank a couple of sips anyway -- with serious consequences. Nuts, I know.

Not insanely sensitive at all--hence the reason that it's a bane to wine growers--bell pepper notes in a wine can overpower everything else about it and give the wine a seriously unpleasant, (to me) vegetal taste and smell. Granted, I hate bell peppers as a food, but I really hate any presence of them in wine.

As for people who get irked when someone says they have a non-medically required aversion to something--I really only hate two things (you already know about one--beets are the other) and I certainly don't pitch a fit if they are inadvertently served to me (although I share the pet peeve expressed above about pepper decoration!!) But I also have no problem accomodating those who dine with me who have allergies, preferences, aversions or any other condition requiring special food considerations--so long as it's not used as a way to commandeer the attention of one and all at the table. I've seen that and it ain't pretty. Thankfully, I am no longer associated with anyone with that particular habit

I appreciate that it can be difficult to understand others' food sensitivities, allergies, and food-related diseases. What I've learned is that it can be a long involved process to discover what foods are causing symptoms. With celiac disease, lots of doctors don't even want to do the gold-standard biopsy to diagnose it. Elimination diets are rigorous things to go through. It is tempting to think that people are just being picky when avoiding certain foods, but it is beyond insensitive to demand an explanation. It's important to consider what the person has had to endure, for instance, to identify foods that trigger migraines. There is lots of trial and painful error involved.

Frankly, I am glad that there are many who choose to go gluten-free, since it makes for a broader availability of GF products. I doubt General Mills would have developed a GF cake mix without the demand created by such voluntary GF folks.

My food-sensitive family member tends to eat before gatherings where her dietary restrictions may not be easily accommodated. The main difficulties arise with travel. I wish fast-food places would offer GF buns for sandwiches. How much would it cost them?