Just wanted to report back here and say thanks for the suggestions. In the end bitter melon dishes were procured from Ghareeb Nawaz and Sun Wah (the dishes were not ordered by me, but by the National Bitter Melon Council). Apparently there are a wide variety of bitter melons and each restaurant featured their own breed. There were four dishes from Sun Wah, three of which were essentially the same, stir fried bitter melon each with a different protein- fish, beef, and chicken. These were the least interesting dishes on the table- as plain as they sound. Though chock full of that bitter melon- bitter and pungent, Sun Wah used the longer, lighter green, and smoother skinned variety. Stir fried it maintained a vegetal crunch that really elevated its presence in these dishes. The fourth dish from Sun Wah was considerably more complex, roasted joints of pork in a deeper, soy intense sauce that had a bit of a smoky thing going on. The melon was cooked a bit softer here and melded better with the dish.
I quite enjoyed the dishes from Ghareeb Nawaz which employed a smaller, darker, warty looking bitter melon. We had three dishes, one with slow cooked mutton, another with a ground beef mixture, and the third vegetarian (which I didn't try since the vegetarian 1/3 of the group could only eat this one dish). The masala was essentially the same in both curries, which were quite fiery, and cooked down into a stewy consistency. The bitter melon here fused with the over all flavor profile of the dishes the best of the day's offerings. Of note is that this variety of bitter melon is full of seeds, which Ghareeb did not bother to remove and was my one nit with the dishes, since their kernels were quite tough and not exactly edible.
Bitter melon has a really divisive flavor and the twelve or so of the diners that day had a variety of reactions. I quite liked it, particularly cooked down a bit a la Ghareeb Nazwaz and the slower cooked Sun Wah dish. In fact, I stuffed myself pretty well- I am a fan of the bitter. Some folks could hardly choke down a forkful. The National Bitter Melon Council is an interesting project and for me, perhaps the primary question raised by showcasing this vegetable is individual preference, which I have a hunch might be equally biochemical as it is subjective. Why does one tongue favor certain flavors over another? I find that bitter flavors are stimulating while another may find them repulsive. Though I have an aversion to sweet foods. Do our taste buds inform our bodies as to what nutrients they may require? Or is it simply a matter of familiarity and cultural bias- bitterness is probably the most under appreciated flavor in the American diet. Food for thought.
http://bittermelon.org/