katier wrote:Budget is still unclear. I've been told not to worry but its definitely a factor. Probably around $5000. Unless that's unrealistically low? Sorry, ridiculously new at this. And yes, alcohol.
$125 is not unrealistically low, and you might be able to do much better than that, depending on where you go. Don't worry about being new at this. Restaurants that have experience with private parties usually have a designated contact for such arrangements, and they can walk you through all the decisions you need to make, many of which will affect the pricing. They're very good at this. Your best approach is to try phoning numerous possible candidates, starting with a brief conversation about what they can do and how they can set it up. Those initial consultations are free and will not only help you narrow down candidates, but also understand how your needs might best be met. After you have a few of these discussions, you'll not only be able to evaluate the different places you're considering, but you'll also have a much better understanding of the entire process and the decisions you have to make. You can do these initial consultations over the phone; once you narrow it down to 2-3 places, you'll want to visit those candidates and have them show you their space and how they would arrange the event.
Usually, their first two questions will be (1) how many people you have and what date(s) are you thinking of (because if the appropriate-sized space isn't available the date(s) you need, there's no point in continuing the conversation), and (2) if you have a particular budget in mind. The key is to keep your budget in mind and to work with them to meet your bottom-line target (and remember, EVERYTHING is negotiable!). The really good private party coordinators can be quite flexible in coming up with solutions to meet your budget. There are all different ways to do so - not just selecting the menu so that you don't have the most expensive item (there's a reason many banquets often have the so-called "rubber chicken" although that doesn't mean you have to do so), but also considering how many courses you have (e.g. Do you really need an appetizer AND soup AND salad, or can you get by with one or two of those three?). In your case, it sounds like you're not at all sure of your budget, so you can ask them what they can do for different price points - what they would do for $90/pp, what differences $110/pp would give you, then $125/pp, etc.
That ought to get you started, thinking about places, and you'll need to make some calls. Once the private party coordinator has asked you about date and size, they'll ask about budget, and they'll tell you what they can provide within that budget. In particular, you'll have to discuss with them how they handle the wine/alcohol, because that's the wild card that can affect your cost dramatically. An open bar tends to be very expensive, but you can do it. I've arranged numerous private parties and the alcohol is always a sticking point, because the restaurant doesn't want to end up providing an unlimited amount of alcohol and loses money on the event as a result. And whoever is responsible from your end - you personally, perhaps - won't want to end up losing money because of the open bar, either, and you also don't want to have everyone pay a lot of money for that privilege. There are ways to ensure that that doesn't happen. For example, you can have an open bar but only for the first cocktail hour, then have the tables set with a pre-specified number of wine bottles.
At the events I've planned, the individual attendees had to pay to attend, and we needed to keep the cost within reason. So our arrangements may be entirely different from those where you're hosting and paying for the party. We needed to limit our financial exposure, and we also had concerns about possible liability (most of our attendees were driving afterwards). We almost always ended up deciding to have a cash bar rather than an open bar, as a way of addressing those concerns. In some cases we had a certain number of wine bottles set on each table, as I just mentioned. Another thing we have done in some cases is to provide each attendee with several coupons each good for an alcoholic beverage, so they were able to imbibe as part of the cost, while still providing a limit on how much could be consumed on our budget (the bartenders could take cash for those who wanted more than what was provided). Again, that worked for us, but may be entirely different for your situation.
One final word. The best restaurants for a private party are not necessarily the best ones that you would go to in a group of two or four. Places that have a lot of experience with large parties know what they need to do to serve 40 people at the same time. We've had problems with others that don't have such experience, such as taking over an hour to serve each course. Chances are, a place that has a private room for 40 has a fair amount of experience serving large private parties. As you speak to multiple private party coordinators, you will see that some know exactly what they're doing, what to ask, and give you great advice to help you decide, and some others may not. Chances are better that a place with a truly helpful coordinator will also have the expertise to pull off an enjoyable, problem-free event for your group.