Hummus. Pretty simply, right? Chickpeas and sesame paste. How could you F that up?
Well. Let's see. You could start by buying it in a plastic container, from some Sabra or Shatila, or another go-getter, R&D'd, well-capitalized, "hummus will change the world" enterprise. But hummus won't change the world. It won't bring us together. In fact, it tears us apart. Hummus is mine, my people made it, and your people stole it. Lebanon tried to patent it or some such nonsense. So F all this "let's hold hands and dance around a bowl of hummus sh#t."
You could also F it up by your choice of topping or, even worse, "flavor." Maybe you like pink-coloured roasted red pepper "hummus" or maybe you like to put cilantro and culantro and culo and pesto and ernesto guevara and apricot jam and chicken liver marmalade on your hummus. You might as well stick your foot in it and call it Lake Michigan, cause it's not hummus. The range of acceptable garnishes is very narrow. The range of acceptable base ingredients, an immutable kernel.
Finally, you might F hummus up by calling it "KHHOOOOMOOOOOOOOS." Do not ever come up to Habibi and say "KHOOOMOOOOOOS." Habibi will slap you and yell TERRORIST! and call the FBI on you.
It's simple. Really, it is. And here's how I make my hummus. A few disclaimers: (1) we are making this with canned chickpeas, hardly ideal, but we can discuss soaking and boiling dried chickpeas later (we might also discuss using a mortar and pestle); and (2) yes, some variations outside this formula may be acceptable, but you must first master the basic hummus before you play around with adding things like ground cumin, sauteed and spiced lamb, or ful.
Here's my recipe. I think it's a damn F'ing good one.
1 can chickpeas (ZIYAD brand preferred)
1/2-3/4 cup tahini (AL KANATER brand preferred)
2 medium garlic cloves (omit or use only half a clove if making breakfast hummus)
1 large lemon
1/4 cup good olive oil
salte to taste
1) Drain and wash the chickpeas. Peel each chickpea. You can do this by gently squeezing each one. The naked, unadorned chickpea will slide right out of it's shell.
2) Simmer the chickpeas in a small pot with enough water to cover them by about a half inch. Simmer them for about 15 to 20 minutes on a low flame.
3) After you have finished simmering the chickpeas, use a ladle or other device to remove about half of the liquid from the chickpeas. Put this reserved liquid to the side. Save a few whole chickpeas for garnish as well. Put the remaining chickpeas and liquid in a blender of food processor. The water should come up about halfway to three-quarters in the chickpeas.
4) Add the tahini, and juice of half a lemon, the roughly chopped garlic, and a good dose of salt (use your judgment).
5) Blend until VERY smooth. If the mixture seems to thick, add some of the reserved simmering liquid to loosen the hummus up and continue blending. The texture should be creamy. Taste the hummus now. Add more salt and/or lemon if you think the hummus needs it.
6) Once everything is swirling in the blender/processor very smoothly, drizzle in the olive oil (while the hummus is still mixing) to thoroughly emulsify it into the mixture. Drizzle in a tiny bit more tahini as well.
7) Plate the hummus in a shallow bowl so that the hummus is raised at the perimiter and in the center, with a sunken moat in the middle. We will use this moat to fill with olive oil and lemon juice.

Garnish the hummus.
Make it beautiful! First, add a few squirts of lemon juice and drizzles of olive oil to the "moat." Sprinkle on some paprika and sumac. I also use urfa biber or aleppo pepper. Throw on the whole chickpeas that you reserved. Other acceptable garnishes include chopped parsely, chopped or sliced chili peppers, and pine nuts. DO NOT ADD CELLAR AGED CARROTS OR WILD-FORAGED MUSHROOMS OR SOY-MISO COD.
9) Eat. At this point the hummus will still be warm. Eating warm hummus with good Middle-Eastern bread is one of life's great joys.
10) DON'T F IT UP.
Last edited by
Habibi on April 3rd, 2013, 10:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
"By the fig, the olive..." Surat Al-Teen, Mecca 95:1"