World-Class Asses #1: Check Writers

World-Class Asses #1: Check Writers

Anyone who knows me will vigorously attest to my fair-mindedness and almost child-like optimism, born of a deep faith in the essential goodness of the human spirit and the power of love (the booze, of course, helps).

Still, there are blemishes on my otherwise overwhelmingly positive view of the world, and that is the subject of this series, which will examine …World-Class Asses.

Today’s object of my well-founded contempt: check writers. I don’t mean those who use checks to make mortgage or college tuition payments – I’m talking about the selfish, insensitive and uniformly befuddled folks who hold up an entire grocery store line while they, without cash or credit cards, fumble in their purses for checkbook, writing implement, driver’s license for validation, register for recording the transaction, etc.

I was in Walgreen’s on Sunday, and this lady bought two packs of smokes (a lamentable though entirely forgivable vice), and she paid with a check! I know cigarettes are expensive…but a check for a ten buck charge! The time spent by other customers waiting for this archaic transaction to finish, plus the work hours expended (by retail establishment, bank, processing companies, etc.) accepting, validating, debiting and crediting accounts, documenting, etc., is way out of line with the modicum of effort it would have taken for this person to have come to the store with 10 dollars in her pocket.

I find check writers to be just about always female. Eminently just, I do not damn the entire gender for the actions of the few, but I personally avoid check-out lines that contain females – the likelihood of running into a check writer is just too high. I’d quickly queue up in a five-person line of all guys rather than a two-person line of all women. The odds would be with me that I’d get out of there faster.

Still, these people, these check writers, should probably not be hated, publicly ridiculed, or injured. That would be wrong. Let us remember, though, that they are World-Classes Asses, and you would do well not to find yourself behind them.

Hammond

When I was living at home and working second shift, I used to take a signed blank check from my parents and use it to do some 3am grocery shopping at Jewel.

Of course, there weren't any lines at 3am..

But that's my sin! I confess it, Father Hammond.

gleam wrote:When I was living at home and working second shift, I used to take a signed blank check from my parents and use it to do some 3am grocery shopping at Jewel.

Of course, there weren't any lines at 3am..

But that's my sin! I confess it, Father Hammond.

You are forgiven, my son.

Go, and make you good use of your cash (or credit card, where accepted).

Hammond

David,

I concur. Damn these asses! My list of "things to change when I run the show" includes, quite prominently, banning checks in all retail establishments.

After all, what is a check? It's a promise, an IOU, a note from your mommy.

"I swear I have all this money in the bank. If you take this signed piece of paper to them, I promise that they'll give you the money."

Ridiculous.

Best,
Michael

I hardly ever run into check writers -- and honestly can't remember the last one I saw. Much more vexing to me are the people who jockey for position as the bus arrives so they can get on first and then seem to be caught offguard as they realize they have to put money in. When I'm in charge, they're just gonna have to get off and wait for the next one and dig out the money while they're waiting.

You want to pay by check, that is fine by me. But have the checkbook out, fill-in the date, payee, signature, etc. while waiting in line and have ID and pen at the ready to fill in the amount as soon as you know the amount due. I think people who make everyone else in line needlessly wait know exactly what they are doing and this is some kind of pathetic demonstration of power by someone who craves the ability to control others by any means possible.

Does someone want to help me understand why women are the only ones I have ever seen pull this stunt?

Ducking,
Bill/SFNM

I dunno . . . I've found myself behind people who were trying to use their plastic that were positively stymied by the mechanics of swiping it through the reader. As to the "IOU" nature of the check - that's between the checkwriter, the merchant and the bank but at least it's settled between them all in an ansychronous matter and doesn't hold up the line. Contrast that with the debit card user that is "sure" that they have enough funds in their account to cover their purchase and the amount of time wasted in line watching the transaction that will not die because of its real-time nature and the actuality of lack of funds. Worse, the credit card user that is "denied" and becomes indignant or the CC company that has their verification system offline - and the buyer is purchasing something higher than what their pass/fail system allows in those situations. Bottom line, there's any number of ways that my time can be wasted at the supermarket checkout line.

FWIW, I can't remember the last time I wrote a check at any retail establisment; I save all my checks for the tollbooth.

Now THERE's a world class ass - the guy at the Skyway booth in the IPASS ONLY LANE . . . without an IPASS. After having driven straight-thru from Florida and having only a mere 20 miles left before reaching home, I'm stuck right behind this mope. Eventually a Skyway person has to cross over multiple lanes to get to him - and he has nothing smaller than a $20 and she, of course, has no change. So she has to run across more lanes to get change, run back, so finally Mr. Mope can get through. It was at this point that I reminded Mrs. Kman how wrong she was not to allow me to have equipped the car with RPG's and flamethrowers like I had originally planned to better deal with World Class Asses like him.

I couldn't agree more! Could these people be anymore antiquated? It's 2005, use a debit card already! The one time I ventured into Jewel (b/c I have a personal boycott against them), I used the self-checkout lines. I must say those self checkout machines can be awfully evil sometimes. I came across a stumbling block, so I had to wait for assistance. Instead, the clerk decided to help this chit chatty woman who had to write a check IN THE SELF CHECKOUT LINE! Doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of using the self-checkout!!?!?!?

Bill/SFNM wrote:You want to pay by check, that is fine by me. But have the checkbook out, fill-in the date, payee, signature, etc. while waiting in line and have ID and pen at the ready to fill in the amount as soon as you know the amount due. I think people who make everyone else in line needlessly wait know exactly what they are doing and this is some kind of pathetic demonstration of power by someone who craves the ability to control others by any means possible.

I find myself feeling the same way as I'm waiting at the bank drive-through to deposit a check and some guy in front of me has to first locate all his documentation, find a pen, sign the paperwork, screw up, correct the screw up, consult with the clerk, send documents back and forth a few times, etc.

Me, when I go to the bank, everything is filled out and ready to go...but I'm just a very considerate kind of guy.

David "World would be a much better place with more like me" Hammond

Remember that debit cards are not always free to use. So called "check cards" affiliated with visa or mastercard or whatever are, as long as you use them as a credit card, but often you'll end up paying $0.50-$1 each time you use a debit card as a debit card.

Obviously this varies from bank to bank. But it is one reason for someone to use checks instead of debit.

gleam wrote:Remember that debit cards are not always free to use. So called "check cards" affiliated with visa or mastercard or whatever are, as long as you use them as a credit card, but often you'll end up paying $0.50-$1 each time you use a debit card as a debit card.

Obviously this varies from bank to bank. But it is one reason for someone to use checks instead of debit.

The same can be said of checks too. Isn't there a limit on the number of free checks that one can write each month w/o incurring a charge?

gleam wrote:Remember that debit cards are not always free to use. So called "check cards" affiliated with visa or mastercard or whatever are, as long as you use them as a credit card, but often you'll end up paying $0.50-$1 each time you use a debit card as a debit card.

Obviously this varies from bank to bank. But it is one reason for someone to use checks instead of debit.

But they could still use them as credit cards, right? That would also address the terrible tragedy of innocent civilians like me spending vast amounts of time watching other people conduct their personal financial affairs. It's like listening to some jomoke talk volubly to his girlfriend on his cellphone -- really, bro, it's none of my business, I don't want to be a witness to that.

David "Crusader for the Common Man" Hammond

Why are you on this crusade when you haven't addressed the number one cause of delays in the checkout line: people asking for price checks because they thought the 28 oz. Minty-Fresh Oven Cleaner was a Fresh Values Super Saver Special at $3.94 instead of $3.96 this week? I can't count the number of times I have shouted at such a person, "Take the two cents, damn ye, and be driven from the steps of the city to live the rest of your days among other skinflints and copper-pinchers, miserly counting out the remaining frozen tater tots in the bag to ensure your fair share against the rest of your ill-favored, accursed kind!"

Still, for sheer hold-up-the-entire-world-for-me idiocy, nothing can top the time, years ago in Wichita, that somebody spilled their salad bar salad halfway through checkout, and the checkout person expected us all to stand there while the person made a new salad from scratch, and was indignant when I insisted that she ring that person out and keep the line going in their absence.

P.S. There's this complaint, too.

David Hammond wrote:
But they could still use them as credit cards, right?

Although virtually(?) every visa or mc-linked "check card" can be used as a debit card, there are quite a few debit cards that are not also capable of being used as credit cards.

David "Crusader for the Common Man" Hammond,

Many places have checkout registers that will write/fill the checks out for you, so all you have to do is sign. So check writing need not neccesarily be a time consuming affair.

That said, do you know if lady in front of you that prompted this thread, hasn't started on some website, a thread on what a waste of time the guy behind her was, didn't even take the time to strike up a conversation, after all the time and window of opportunity she created and on top of that she even had to use up a check when she bloody well could have used her credit card?

sazerac who has heard strange tales about the goings on in supermarkets

Jumping into the fray:

How about supermarket check writers who are surprised, already in the midst of filling out the check, that they first are expected to apply for some arcane verification at customer service?

as per the linked thread: I really feel sorry for the, mostly friendly cashiers at my Jewel forced to upsell at the counter whatever crappy Hydrox b.s. that I've never seen anyone buy.

and: how about the woman who has trouble with the self-checkout(demonic machines to be sure...but she obviously has no clue anyway) monopolizing the one clerk(basically, forcing the clerk to void out her mistake then ring everything back thru for her) WHO, when she finally sets up to checkout somehow didn't notice the huge-ass sign that reads, "this station cash only." And she wants to write a check. Why does this impact me? Because I'm the sadsack waiting for i.d. verification to purchase a bottle of vino. See, I'd simply go through the regular line, but I figure it'll be oh so much quicker if I take my three items through self-checkout. Ha Ha.

Don't get me started on people who get in line WITHOUT READING the placards designating, "this line closed," or, "express 10-items or less," or,
again, "cash only."

urgh....grrr

I cannot believe that retailers still accept checks. My wife was an auditor for a specialty retail chain. Since they did not do store audits during Christmas season, she would go into the local stores and spend 8 hr days collecting NSF checks - there was always a pile at least an inch thick. Most were "just mistakes" as she would put it.

Pucca wrote:
The same can be said of checks too. Isn't there a limit on the number of free checks that one can write each month w/o incurring a charge?

Depends on your bank and the type of account. As a generality, though, if one is getting some type of 'free' checking there probably isn't a limit on the number of checks but, again - Baskin Robbins has nothing on banks when it comes to how many varieties of accounts & charges there can be.

I honestly don't have a problem with people writing checks so long as they are READY - having already filled out all the info save for the $$ amount, have whatever ID is required, etc. to quickly settle the transaction. Depending on the time of day and the relative volumes it's quite possible that a ready-to-go checkwriter will settle their transaction faster than a credit/debit card user. As someone who has been in both the IT and banking industries for over 20 years I know from talking to peers in the IT dept's of CC giants that the transaction volume during peak periods is staggering (day after Thanksgiving is amazing); the slightest blip in any of the systems all chained together - including the phone companies - results in chaos at the consumer end.

Well, I know I'm going to get thrashed for this, but my gender compells me to speak out against this female-bashing (on another thread many of you felt moved to defend the grammer-and spelling challenged, so we all have our weaknesses.) It may be that you find women disproportionally bothering you in this way because more women shop than men do, at least at grocery stores. No doubt some of these annoying, slow-witted women would be happy to have the men do the shopping for them, if they would, and they could pay whatever way they'd like to, if they've got the credit to do it with (I'll avoid the obvious joke that the men might well get lost on the way to the store and never arrive because they refused to ask for directions.)

But, while we're on the subject, my pet peeve: people who park their cart right in the middle of the aisle while they're trying to find something (especially problematic at places with narrow aisles, like Oakton Market). My husband does this all the time. Drives me nuts.

Such a frequent gripe for me, this supermarket angst: I shop for small, walkable batches 2-3 times a week. What is it with patron oblivion? I suppose my relative shopping attenuation and the repugnant societal malaise suffice as explanation. However, yes, one conscientiously moves one's cart to the side when perusing products in tight aisles. One attempts not to leave one's cart moored, forlorn, alone while one seeks produce elswhere. One congenially moves one's cart out of traffic when respectfully asked to do so. One doesn't wander the supermarket aisles oblivious and arrogant gabbing on one's cellphone. Certainly, one doesn't assume they alone are shopping in a store chockablock with patrons. Arg...blecch.

gleam wrote:Remember that debit cards are not always free to use. So called "check cards" affiliated with visa or mastercard or whatever are, as long as you use them as a credit card, but often you'll end up paying $0.50-$1 each time you use a debit card as a debit card.

Obviously this varies from bank to bank. But it is one reason for someone to use checks instead of debit.

That's reason enough to change banks.

There's also the "10 items or less" conundrum. Why is it that supermarkets make it more convenient for their worst customers to check out quickly while their best customers (the ones with the large baskets full of products) are forced to wait in long lines. I don't think there's a solution to this issue, since by definition larger orders take longer to check out, but it's interesting in a idle conversational way nonetheless.

I don't think I've ever seen a supermarket with all registers manned. Especially annoying when I have twelve items and the lines have far more people than unmanned registers.

Christopher Gordon wrote:One doesn't wander the supermarket aisles oblivious and arrogant gabbing on one's cellphone.

Actually I think cell phone use is perefectly acceptable in the supermarket when the food shopper is communicating with the food preparer to reconcile the menu with what is available on the shelves. This reduces multiple trips, aids marital harmony, and most importantly, results in better meals.

People using their cell phones for other purposes need to stand in the checkout line reserved for check writers, those unable to count the number of items in their cart, and people who park their cars across multiple parking spaces.

I think we need private supermarkets that require potential members to complete an application and pass a shopping test demonstrating proper skills and etiquette.

Bill/SFNM

ToniG wrote:Well, I know I'm going to get thrashed for this, but my gender compells me to speak out against this female-bashing (on another thread many of you felt moved to defend the grammer-and spelling challenged, so we all have our weaknesses.) It may be that you find women disproportionally bothering you in this way because more women shop than men do, at least at grocery stores. No doubt some of these annoying, slow-witted women would be happy to have the men do the shopping for them, if they would, and they could pay whatever way they'd like to, if they've got the credit to do it with

Yes.

Women are far more likely than men to do the family grocery shopping.

In most households, there's just one checkbook and because the woman is the one most likely to be doing the day-to-day household shopping, whe's the one who carries it.

Men who don't wear suit jackets have nowhere to carry a checkbook, so they typically don't carry one.

Women are more likely than men to be part of low-income households that have no credit.

Women are more likely than men to follow a household budget, either self-imposed or imposed by a male wage earner, and check writing makes this easier to track.

Some women are afraid to carry cash.

LAZ wrote:
Women are far more likely than men to do the family grocery shopping.

In most households, there's just one checkbook and because the woman is the one most likely to be doing the day-to-day household shopping, whe's the one who carries it.

Men who don't wear suit jackets have nowhere to carry a checkbook, so they typically don't carry one.

Women are more likely than men to be part of low-income households that have no credit.

Women are more likely than men to follow a household budget, either self-imposed or imposed by a male wage earner, and check writing makes this easier to track.

Some women are afraid to carry cash.

None of these address the behavior of waiting until the checkout is complete to fish out the checkbook and start filling it out when there was plenty of time to perform this task while waiting in line.

Please help me understand that behavior.

Bill/SFNM

Bill/SFNM wrote:

LAZ wrote:
Women are far more likely than men to do the family grocery shopping.

In most households, there's just one checkbook and because the woman is the one most likely to be doing the day-to-day household shopping, whe's the one who carries it.

Men who don't wear suit jackets have nowhere to carry a checkbook, so they typically don't carry one.

Women are more likely than men to be part of low-income households that have no credit.

Women are more likely than men to follow a household budget, either self-imposed or imposed by a male wage earner, and check writing makes this easier to track.

Some women are afraid to carry cash.

None of these address the behavior of waiting until the checkout is complete to fish out the checkbook and start filling it out when there was plenty of time to perform this task while waiting in line.

Please help me understand that behavior.

Bill/SFNM

At the Food Lion in Williamsburg where I used to shop when I was a student at William & Mary, they had a friendly sign at the start of the line, reminding check writers to get started and have the check made out and ready to go when their food was rung up. Not that you really ought to need such a reminder, but it probably did help.

"I think we need private supermarkets that require potential members to complete an application and pass a shopping test demonstrating proper skills and etiquette."

Well, I anticipated this sorta reaction. I see grocery store misbehavior(whatever) too often, too often replicated. I anticipate traffic flow and concommitant respect for my fellow shoppers. I expect the same. Golden rule, nah? Why not let it slide? Because I choose to see it as social contract synaptic static rather than "random" "human" chaos(read: entropy). What's so hard about observing your fellow shoppers? i.e. I really don't think I'm needling, yes, chaos happens, but, when it happens in the same patterns again and again is it still considered chaos?

eatchicago wrote:David,

I concur. Damn these asses! My list of "things to change when I run the show" includes, quite prominently, banning checks in all retail establishments.

After all, what is a check? It's a promise, an IOU, a note from your mommy.

"I swear I have all this money in the bank. If you take this signed piece of paper to them, I promise that they'll give you the money."

Ridiculous.

Best,
Michael

Actually, the check verification services (Vericheck and whatnot) all do spot-checks on the amount of cash in the account. Part of their selling points for the systems (and the fees they charge) is the guarantee that they'll personally eat any cost incurred if they're wrong.

And well... not all signed pieces of paper are legally binding, either.

I use paper checks for rent, and that's it. I've even considered doing away with that in favor of electronic transfers directly to the landlord, but the steel box in the basement is convenient enough for now. Checks and checkbooks are pretty much obsolete at this point - if you can get a checkbook, you can get a debit card.

I'm curious - what banks charge fees for use of a debit card? I use Bankone, and they simply love to nickle and dime me to death - and they've never even hinted at a fee. I figure if anyone would be looking to screw their customers, it'd be them.

Pete wrote:Actually, the check verification services (Vericheck and whatnot) all do spot-checks on the amount of cash in the account. Part of their selling points for the systems (and the fees they charge) is the guarantee that they'll personally eat any cost incurred if they're wrong.

Yeah, I know. I've written plenty of software to interface with these systems. I still stand by the fact that the concept is out-dated, out-moded, and ridiculous. E-Checks are a grafting of new technology onto an old system. A giant hack.