Man oh man, I am so seriously glad this place is gone.
All I -- and the rest of the silent majority -- ask of you: please don't blather on and on about how great this place was, or lecture on and on about how much those poor folks who never were able to try it missed out.
Because they missed out on next to nothing.
It's over -- you went, you liked the mediocre food, and you liked waiting hours for mediocre food. You bought into a hipster* version of the standard tourist spectacle -- the fact that the place was "off the beaten path" or "in a non-touristy neighborhood" did not good food make. I'm sorry.
Hot Doug's was a tourist trap in all the worst senses of the phrase.
* What's hilarious is how many on here will rail against hipsters not even knowing what that means, or that they're in at least some way part of a hipster sub-group.
Still, you all bought it. You praised mediocre food because the snarky guy with the inconvenient hours made you feel like he was selling something special. The line somehow reified your sense that the food just had to be good. Why else would people spend hours in line?
Folks, people spend hours in line for Justin Bieber shows.
But when you spend hours in line, when you build up the idea of something in your head, you just can't possibly admit that it isn't what you want it to be, what you want to believe ...
On behalf of the truly legendary places in Chicago that have closed, places like -- just to cite one example -- Great Lake Pizza -- don't try to pretend that your silly little hot dog stand was anything more than that. Don't act as if someone who never went to Hot Doug's missed anything other than an overrated tourist trap.
They didn't miss legendary food -- or anything close to it.
I suppose you bought into the cult of personality, and like all people who fall under the spell of a cult, it made you feel good.
Virtually everyone I took there -- because EVERYONE who visited Chicago over the last 5 years felt it was a holy duty to go there -- found it underwhelming.
This place made Chicago look bad to people who truly know and care about food.
This post is dedicated to everyone who saw that the emperor had no clothes.
Go ahead and snark -- Hot Doug's is gone and I am truly happy about it.
Oh, and I promise you from now until the end of time: each and every last one of you that blathers about the good ol' days of Hot Doug's will get a beer in your face. I have good hearing and good aim -- even if you're halfway across the room.