The Worst Burrito in Chicago

So I had a little time before today's showing of Mizoguchi's The Story of the Last Chrysanthemums, but I was on the stretch of Fullerton between the red line and Ashland which has been a chow wasteland (at least during the day; dinner offers more options) since I've lived here. Then I spotted one of those Lincoln Park gringo burrito joints, the kind I described in a review elsewhere as "more lettuce, tomato, and cheese than meat and enough sour cream to spackle a house, all in a starched white tortilla... closer to a chicken wrap from a food court than to the greasy but delectable gut bombs real Mexican restaurants serve."

Well, in a competition that otherwise included Burger King and Mr. Sub, I figured it was the best of a bad lot. At worst, I'd take one for the team. Well, if I didn't take one for the team it was only because I didn't finish the blasphemy on a plate they dished up for me. I cut my burrito in half and immediately orange grease began pouring out the tail end as if a can of Quaker State had been tipped over inside. The prefab tortilla began flaking off white, scaly pieces of itself as if it had a rare skin disease. Bite one: the sour cream and grease were congealing into an unholy alliance without even token resistance from the meat or cheese. Something was missing, I thought, as I picked rubbery pieces out of my teeth-- then it dawned on me. Flavor! That's what was missing!

I grabbed the bottle of green salsa and dashed the burrito with it-- but a second bite revealed that the salsa had been chilled to such a degree that the only flavor it had was theoretical, and the impact of the cold only accelerated the creation of new life forms in the primordial ooze of the grease and sour cream. I looked at the horrible thing I had taken two bites of and I knew there was no need to drop the rest of this tragedy, this nightmare, this offense against the cosmos into my stomach. I covered it with napkins and slipped the plate into the busboy's bin. I had just had The Worst Burrito in Chicago, but I was determined to live to warn others.

Taco and Burrito House
1548 W. Fullerton
773-665-8389

Mike,

How was the portion size?

It's a fantastic deal!

Mike G wrote:It's a fantastic deal!

Hey, no pics?

A

I'll get some after I announce a dinner there on the Events board.

Did you ever try Taco Burrito King? YUM

This is sad to read, but not that surprising given the 10 years it's been since I used to frequent this place. Believe it or not, they used to serve an excellent, well proportioned burrito with highly seasoned steak and a properly blistered and griddle crisped tortilla. Not sure if it's the same owner, but I remember he was in a long ago Trib article about a group of workers from the local Golden Nugget restaurants who went on the open a slew of local burrito joints. Once they were up and running and successful thet would assist other associates with seed money to get their own place and on and on.

Are all the Taco and Burrito House "restaurants" run by the same folks? Or are they individually owned and operated? I confess to frequenting the one at Lincoln and Addison a number of times, maybe once every couple weeks. Mike's description is not far off the mark, and I certainly recognize how it is less authentic that other spots. That said, I stick with the steak tacos. And request "no sour cream". There's still a lot of cheese, I'll admit, but I enjoy them for the little nuggets that they are, and find them more pleasing than the burritos. I'm generally not a burrito guy.

Of course, T & B House this was the first taco and burrito "restaurant" I went to, after moving to Chicago in October 2005. Long before I discovered LTH. Long before I knew there 25,000 such spots in and around the city. I've certainly had better. I've also had worse.

As I said, I recognize how it can be regarded as more "gringo", per Mike's suggestion. But it's certainly not much different from the Taco and Burrito King around the corner from my house, at Addison and Western. At least not as far as I can tell.

This is by no means a defense of the place on Fullerton. Or T & B House in general. The t-shirts they sell, with the caricature of the fellow in a sombrero, is mildly indicative. I was just wondering if they were run corporately, or not?

or something.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say "corporate" but I believe they are something of a local mini-chain, quasi-franchise type system. The place on Fullerton always had the DePaul undergrad crowd practicing their chad and trixie moves on the counter help back in the early to mid 90's. It's sad to hear of the downhill turn of this place, just as it is to see some parts of the city succumb to being urban suburbs.

fair enough. i guess i meant "corporate" in terms of 'run together' or in association with one another in some fashion beyond name. and not in some massive conglomerate kinda way. but i think your post answers that for me. make sense.

i dunno. i can see where the tacos at the lincoln and addsion one could be perceived as a little bland. the green sauce makes up for it OK by me. and proximity to home and my perpetual indeciviseness will probably have me back there time to time. and again.

of course. i'm always open to suggestions.

i've been frequenting one on montrose. between linclon and bell. the name escapes me at the moment? asadero? i first learned of it here.

anyhow.

Mike G wrote:...the stretch of Fullerton between the red line and Ashland which has been a chow wasteland...

Am I missing something, or did you specifically not want Trotter's to Go? I'm not saying it's the end-all be-all, but it's that or White Hen for me along there.

Well, I wasn't in the mood for a $17 sandwich.

Which is not to say that after throwing a $4 burrito away, it didn't start to look a lot better, but by then it was movie time.

wow what worst burrito er, kismet. I too found myself there a long while ago, it must have been at least 2 years ago and I wanted to avoid the Mr Sub and the other option. I went in and ordered a veggie burrito, not because I am a veggie but because these bigger than your noggin burritos with meat in them are just silly (a burrito is supposed to be portable not a football). Anyhow it came and it was hysterical, it was in fact, a rice burrito. I unwrapped it and the surly grill man had tossed like 3 sad pinto beans in and a smear of sour cream and two large angry spoonfuls of white rice. So I guess it was a rice and sour cream burrito. When I asked if I could have some beans in my burrito he snarled at me and threw a gloppy spoonful in and hucked it back at me. Maybe the the venomous service made it taste even worse but I really was flummoxed--how hard do you have to try to screw up a burrito?

bjt