Food Delivery: Tip Question

LTH,

I'm a regular at Elephant Thai, not necessarily a once a week regular, but often enough where the owner knows me and my wife by name and order preference. I'd venture to guess Steve Z and I, we both live in the general area, were among Ann, owner of Elephant Thai, first regular customers.

Ann's husband Nick, a reserved, though extremely nice fellow, will occasionally do evening deliveries for the restaurant and, seeing as how Nick's day job is postman in the area, Elephant Thai has incredibly efficient, quick, never miss an address food delivery.

This brings me to my point. I, of course, tip on food delivery, but the first time Nick was the delivery person he seemed repelled at the thought of taking a tip. He did not pointedly say so, but his physical reaction, 1/2-step back, scrunch of his face, was indicator enough. Just to make sure we are on the same page here, when anyone other than Nick delivers from Elephant Thai I tip, absolutely.

My question, is it possible I misread Nick the first time, I've not offered any tip on subsequent deliveries he's made. Should I offer once again to gauge his reaction?

I don't want to offended but, then again, I don't want to appear a cheap so-and-so either.

Comments?

Enjoy,
Gary

Considering Ann knows you well, and given that Nick is Ann's husband, maybe you should ask Ann discreetly...
Maybe she can take care of the expression on Nick's face.

I was always taught that one tips employees but not owners. That might've been the source of his reaction.

On the other hand, I tip my mailman at Xmas. So this is confusing as hell, I agree.

Bob S. wrote:I was always taught that one tips employees but not owners.

I agree. A modest Christmas present might be in order. One year I gave home-made pastramis to the owners or chefs of my favorite restaurants. Really was appreciated.

Bill/SFNM

Bob S. wrote:I was always taught that one tips employees but not owners. That might've been the source of his reaction.

That's what I learned and have encountered a similar reaction at least once when I violated the 'rule' (though I can't remember the details anymore). Unfortunately, this 'rule' is sometimes hard to follow... for example, do both spouses who together own a business count the same way as folks not to be tipped? seems like that would be the right interpretation but then again...

Antonius

Antonius wrote:

Bob S. wrote:I was always taught that one tips employees but not owners. That might've been the source of his reaction.

That's what I learned and have encountered a similar reaction at least once when I violated the 'rule' (though I can't remember the details anymore). Unfortunately, this 'rule' is sometimes hard to follow... for example, do both spouses who together own a business count the same way as folks not to be tipped? seems like that would be the right interpretation but then again...

Antonius

I wonder who exactly promulgated this rule (not that I have not heard it myself), because, I find, more often than not, owner-operators appreciate, if not expect a tip. For instance, most barbers, even owners, expect a tip. I also tip, and think it expected, at restaurants where there is no staff besides the owners.

Now, there may be issues related to Thai culture/face--while off point, it reminds me of the time in Bangkok when our tour bus was hours late, and with the sweetest, straightest smile, they kept on telling us it was on time. Also, tipping customs are different there, but I always tip what I think is normal "American" custom regardless of what people are used to, or expect--I just figure I'd rather err on that side.

Rob

Hmmm . . . have you tried paying by credit card? It at least reduces the uncomfortable feeling of handing extra cash out . . . perhaps. I've been in that situation multiple times and sometimes the owner seems appreciative, other times upset. But I always feel slightly more comfortable erring on the side of the gratuity.

Bob S. wrote:I was always taught that one tips employees but not owners. That might've been the source of his reaction.

That would be my interpretation...not that I follow it with any regularity. I tend, like VI, to err on the side of generosity.

But, GWiv, I think this guy has made his point: I wouldn't tip him again, as it makes him uncomfortable. If you want to show your appreciation, why not duke him a jar of chili oil?

Hammond

Indeed, I can't imagine ever being so crass as to inquire whether someone is the owner and thus "ineligible" for a tip, especially on a delivery. Aside from being told this by my parents when I was young, the only times I've ever followed it was when an owner specifically mentioned it, mostly at bed & breakfasts I've stayed at.

Vital Information wrote:I wonder who exactly promulgated this rule (not that I have not heard it myself), because, I find, more often than not, owner-operators appreciate, if not expect a tip. For instance, most barbers, even owners, expect a tip. I also tip, and think it expected, at restaurants where there is no staff besides the owners.

Let me just say that wherever the 'rule' comes from, it is -- at least in some circles -- a very well known bit of etiquette. And absolutely the norm amongst tavern goers and workers and in that context it certainly has a certain logic.

With regard to barbers I wouldn't know.

But as with all matters of etiquette, it seems to be on its way out.

A