Offal

Do you know your offal? Take this quiz

Ann:

Thank you for this timely post. About two weeks ago, I had composed something which was in ways strikingly similar to what you wrote, though the actual purpose was quite different. An unfortunate and unexpected act of Bog led to the premature disengagement of my computing mechanism with concomitant loss of my composition.

I have attempted to reconstruct said composition here, which I had originally intended to publish in the Professional forum along with a poll, as indicated below.

Antonius

***

Guts-N-Such


I have been considering opening a fast-food restaurant intended to exploit a hitherto unexploited audience: people who love offal and are in a hurry. The plan is to offer at least in the beginning just two main dishes. One of them would be a stew of the sort pictured below:


Beans-N-Pluck
Pluck – a richly flavourful medley of esophagus, heart, lungs and spleen – cooked together slowly with beans ‘the old country way’, together with a special savoury sauce of garlic, tomatoes, onions and chiles: A real taste treat!

The other would be a weekly special, rotating between brains, chitterlings, tripe and kidney.

The Pluck-N-Beans or the weekly special could be ordered in either of three ways, namely, served on
1) a bed of french fried potatoes.
2) a bed of rice.
3) a bed of the house special pane stagionato (stale bread).

POLL:
Please take a moment to help us out by answering the following question honestly: How often would you be likely to take sustenance at Guts-N-Such?

• Almost every day.
• More than once a week.
• Once a week or more.
• With considerable regularity.
• Only on special occasions.
• I am prevented by religious and/or moral considerations to eschew such food items.
• I am required by religious and/or moral considerations to eschew such food items.
• Go away and leave me alone to munch on my burgers.

Antonius

Antonius,

That's a beautiful stew, strangely reminiscent of the cassoulet that I had at Le Bouchon last night.

Put me down for "with considerable regularity".

Best,
Michael

Put me down also into the "with considerable regularity" crowd (although "Go away and leave me alone to munch on my burgers" is rather amusing)

I have been very pro-offal since my lovely father took the young me to eat at St. John just after it opened (lest anyone think too highly of my father, I don't think he knew what it was, just that it was a nice looking restaurant in the area that we were meeting for dinner)

I'm sure I'm not the only person here to wish that there was a St. John-alike restaurant in Chicago, although I suppose it is the quintessential Englishness of St. John that gives it it's charm - moving it over here would be a bit like setting a Jeeves & Wooster novel in Wicker Park.

Luckily, there is still some good offal to be found in this city. For my part, me and a friend of mine have a 'date' sometime in the near future to make haggis from scratch...I will be sure to report on this when it happens.

Antonius,

I think that is a very good looking dish. I would be a regular customer of Guts 'N Such, but I'm somewhat confused by two of the choices in your poll.

• More than once a week.
• Once a week or more.

stevez wrote:Antonius,

I think that is a very good looking dish. I would be a regular customer of Guts 'N Such, but I'm somewhat confused by two of the choices in your poll.

• More than once a week.
• Once a week or more.

Some folks might have trouble deciding.


A

I am a fan of offal. I like organ meats for the variety

Antonius wrote:I have been considering opening a fast-food restaurant intended to exploit a hitherto unexploited audience: people who love offal and are in a hurry.

Antonius,
The Beans-N-Pluck at Guts-N-Such look great. However, I'm a bit concerned about your business model. I like offal and when it comes to it, I am not in a hurry. That said, as long as you aren't looking over my shoulder or shooing me out, I think I would come in once a week or more and on some weeks, more than once.

Antonius wrote:Beans-N-Pluck

Can I be the sous chef, making haggis and substituting oatmeal for the beans?

I've seen hearts and spleen in the market, but where did you get esophagus and lungs?

Vital Information wrote:I've seen hearts and spleen in the market, but where did you get esophagus and lungs?

Shhhh. There is a secret network of organ traffickers. You have to know the right people to get the good stuff.

Antonious--I'm delighted to have been the proximate cause of your re-creation of the lost post. Hilarious!

nr706 wrote:

Antonius wrote:Beans-N-Pluck

Can I be the sous chef, making haggis and substituting oatmeal for the beans?

#706:

If you are truly serious about being interested in pursuing a possible career in offal, I cordially implore you to give the following announcment your most grave consideration. Persons of quality are eagerly sought.

Of course, if you join us, you may well have to change your number.

Don Antonio Boludo de la Pancha
Chair-President Extraordinaire (#666)

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GUTS-N-SUCH
Fine Offal Awfully Fast

If you have the heart for hard work, the stomach for staying the course, the pluck to persevere, the brains to bring home the bacon, the intestinal fortitude to make your first fortune amidst the fragrance of frying intestines...
then just maybe, just possibly, perhaps even...
You're ready to join the Guts-N-Such Corporate Team!!!

Apply to be a man / person of Guts and have the honour to manage your very own Guts-N-Such franchise!!!

©A.F. Volcinus de Montibus (#666)

Antonious,

I'd like to put in a bid for the Berkeley California Guts-N-Such franchise. My thinking is no better place for Guts-N-Such than the ground-zero of seitan, tempeh, tofu, Birkenstock, hemp shirts and PETA.

Enjoy,
Gary

G Wiv wrote:Antonious,

I'd like to put in a bid for the Berkeley California Guts-N-Such franchise. My thinking is no better place for Guts-N-Such than the ground-zero of seitan, tempeh, tofu, Birkenstock, hemp shirts and PETA.

Enjoy,
Gary

Well, I hate to admit it, but not even I, founding head-cheese of Guts-N-Such, would even have considered trying to 'disembowel' Berkeley. If you can do it, you will undoubtedly be Guts-man* of the Year.

A

*I know we should say 'Guts-person' and we surely will, just as soon as those who object threaten us with a boy-(person-)cott.

If Gwiv gets Berkeley, can I put in for the

Cambridge "Our Fair City" MA franchise??

Geo

PS. and talk about a 'Duh'-experience: I finally understand the olde tyme expression "He's got a lot of pluck". Don't he just!

Geo wrote:If Gwiv gets Berkeley, can I put in for the

Cambridge "Our Fair City" MA franchise??

Geo

Are you up to it?

If you have the heart for hard work, the stomach for staying the course, the pluck to persevere, the brains to bring home the bacon, the intestinal fortitude to make your first fortune amidst the fragrance of frying intestines...
then just maybe, just possibly, perhaps even...
You're ready to join the Guts-N-Such Corporate Team!!!

Apply to be a man / person of Guts and have the honour to manage your very own Guts-N-Such franchise!!!

Do you think folks up there would embrace guts?

PS. and talk about a 'Duh'-experience: I finally understand the olde tyme expression "He's got a lot of pluck". Don't he just!

Like so many of our proverbial expressions, this one has lost its transparency with our ever-growing modern separation from the rustic, the wild, the gory...

A

Antonius asks:
Are you up to it?
Quote:
If you have the heart for hard work, the stomach for staying the course, the pluck to persevere, the brains to bring home the bacon, the intestinal fortitude to make your first fortune amidst the fragrance of frying intestines...
then just maybe, just possibly, perhaps even...
You're ready to join the Guts-N-Such Corporate Tea


Well, I guess I'll just have to belly right up to it!

Antonius asks further:

Do you think folks up there would embrace guts?

Probably not; I'm betting it would get their gorge up, probably even stick in their craw, twist their gullet.

Serve 'em right!

Geo

Hey Antonius,

I do hope to see Guts-N-Such flourish in every city. (Maybe even open a franchise myself).

A question then (since I don't see it represented it in the corporate slogan) - if it is a fast food/food fast operation (as suggested in your original post), would it be okay to ask the customer, "Do you want, um, fries with that?"

Guts-N-Such - we've got some b*!!$

sazerac wrote:Hey Antonius,
I do hope to see Guts-N-Such flourish in every city. (Maybe even open a franchise myself).
A question then (since I don't see it represented it in the corporate slogan) - if it is a fast food/food fast operation (as suggested in your original post), would it be okay to ask the customer, "Do you want, um, fries with that?"
Guts-N-Such - we've got some b*!!$

Sazerac,

To that I must say that at Guts-N-Such only the well-informed should dare order the huevos rancheros!

A

I see that the Middle Eastern restaurant Masada (2206 North California Avenue, Logan Square) has several offal dishes, including

Chicken Gizzards $8
Sautéed in olive oil and caramelized onions.

Tohal $8
Broiled lamb spleen stuffed with jalapeño, garlic, and parsley.

Lamb Kidney & Heart $8
Sautéed with caramelized onion and oyster mushrooms.

One doesn't often see spleen on a menu. I am out of town until August, but I am intrigued.

HI,

I have to say I am intrigued by lamb spleen. It may be offal I have yet to eat.

Thanks!

Regards,

GAF wrote:I see that the Middle Eastern restaurant Masada (2206 North California Avenue, Logan Square) has several offal dishes, including [...]

Tohal $8
Broiled lamb spleen stuffed with jalapeño, garlic, and parsley. [...]

One doesn't often see spleen on a menu. I am out of town until August, but I am intrigued.

Cathy2 wrote:I have to say I am intrigued by lamb spleen. It may be offal I have yet to eat.

You can find spleen in Bridgeview/Worth. Here's a spleenwich I sampled at Almawal Restaurant.

In the Bridgeview thread, Rene G wrote:Stuffed spleen is an option but I'm glad we ordered the smaller sandwich instead. I ate my portion but feel no need to order it again.

I wouldn't dissuade anyone from trying it, but it gave me a good understanding why spleen isn't more often seen on menus.