Years ago Emo Phillips had a great bit-- the sort of more cerebral material he often snuck in between the more obvious weirdo humor-- about two guys who meet each other in the middle of a bridge. "Are you a Christian?" "Yes, I'm a Christian..." "So am I. Are you a Protestant?" "Yes, I'm a Protestant..." "So am I!" And so on, down a scale of ever-increasing specificity ("Synod of 1869?" "Yes, Synod of 1869..." "So am I!") until they reach one point-- "Substantialist?" "No, Immanentist"-- and the first guy shrieks "INFIDEL!" and hurls the other guy off the bridge.
So of course, for most of the way I couldn't agree with Tony more. Lotta pizza crap out there (though apparently one dare not say that crap also exists in New York, no matter how one prefaces it with disclaimers of not having tried YOUR favorite place). But then I had crappy Italian food in Florence, too, which is surely proof that if they can make it there, they can make it anywhere. (Note, I did NOT just say I never had good Italian food in Italy, far from it. I said once, I ate at a place-- reputable-guidebook-recommended no less-- so bad that when other people walked up to the menu board, I caught their eye and shook my head No. I was damned, but they still might be saved.) The general point, that American food has gotten better in a strong correlation to the degree to which it has returned to less processed, more natural, more traditionalist ways of doing things rooted in European and Asian cooking, is undoubtedly true. The correlation isn't 100%, there are surely other factors at play in our multifaceted restaurant and culinary scene, but let's give that general trend half the credit just for starters, and we can always adjust upward later.
Where I start evaluating centers of gravity and throwweights is when, by castles of impeccable logic, we decide-- and sensible JeffB, I'm shocked to say, even gives in!-- that something that has been called pizza in Chicago for 60 years is not pizza after all! Well, there are people who insist that they do not have to pay income tax because legally they are sovereigns predating the Constitution, and there is a fellow named Earl Pulvermacher who believes that he is the duly elected Pope (and he has the photos of the ceremony at his ranch house in Montana to prove it), and certainly the world is more colorful for all of them, but confronted with the Pope of Montana and expected to kneel before him, I would be forced to say, "Here I stand, I can do no other." My catechism of pizza is simple (and, I am happy to say, contains substantially fewer than 95 theses):
1. Pizza is the appropriate term for anything people generally call pizza.
2. Pizza is about the crust, except when it's about the cheese, the sausage, the crushed tomatoes on top, the caramelized stuff around the edges, or whatever else makes it good. The fact is, the idea of baked bread matter with cheese on top is so basic and delightful that it encourages all manner of experimentation, stressing different elements and forms.
3. The word "pizza" does not solely indicate Neapolitan-style pizza. There is a term for that kind of pizza which is admirable in its specificity and clarity. That term is "Neapolitan-style pizza."
4. America is full of tinkerers. One of the things they tinker with is pizza. Most of the time they probably do make it worse. But some of their variations show remarkable invention, vigor and charm. The American tinkerer with musical forms Duke Ellington said of music, "if it sounds good, it is good." Same goes for taste.
5. Spacca Napoli makes a kickass Neapolitan-style pizza. There should be more like them!
Now I take my small band of the believers to the hills, to escape the wrath of the Inquisition-- hopefully somebody will deliver out here....