Steve Plotnicki wrote:We simply asked the chef to choose our meal. He could have chosen the tasting menu or any assortment of dishes. What he did was ask our server to choose. That's not what we asked for.
I've been following this thread with great interest and wanted to take the risk of chiming in. I absolutely think the main problems here was a lack of communication on all sides. [of course, i'm ignoring the more nuanced issues that have already been discussed; that is, possible expectations for extra-special treatment, possible actions to procure such treatment, power and ethics in food reviewing etc.]
Here is what I mean.
If the diners would have simply stated, "we would like to eat the best that the chef has to offer," then maybe the mishap would not have happened. So some responsibility for the poor dining experience could be placed on the diner's seemingly ambiguous request. Though clearly, the diners did not perceive this request as ambiguous and believe that the FOH staff would have understood exactly what they meant if they knew the 4* code.
Some responsibility also falls on the FOH staff. They could have simply stated up front, when the request was made, that "The chef does not deviate from his published menu....we think that the tasting menu showcases his talent." Again, this statement could have obviated the mishap. Instead, in an attempt to please (presumably) they decided to give the diners something extra-special....put together by them and not the chef. Apparently, it was only after the the diners complained that the FOH stated:
“I communicated it to someone there but I’m not allowed to approach or speak to the Chef.”
“the Chef doesn’t do any special menu for anybody, including famous chefs who dine here.”
I think that if the FOH had communicated this to the diners in the first place, there would not have been a problem.
Thus, in my humble unsolicited opinion, there is blame to go around. Of course, I am focusing here on what I perceive the be the core of the complaint and mishap -- poor communication on all sides -- rather than some of the interesting issues that have already been talked about at length (diner expectations, role of the chef in FOH, special menus).
As has been noted by others. I can see how the "cook for me" thing might work well in a restaurant without a degustation menu. But, it seems that as a diner, I would be shooting myself in the foot by asking the chef to deviate from what he/she has already put lots of time and thought into putting together. But, that's not for me to judge. If a diner does make the "cook for me" request and I was the FOH person, I do my best to correct their expectations so that I do not run the risk of failing them.
my 2 cents...thought I'd get it in before this gets locked.

Also, the thread could make all introspect of what our own expectations might be, if and when we drop comments like "I read about you on LTH" or flash LTH business cards when at our next meal. Could there be subtle treats of bad reviews embedded in such comments with some very silent expectations lurking in the mind or just sharing of the LTH love?

Great thread -- for the most part! There is such a unique combination of intelligence, wit, knowledge, high & low brow humor, and general irreverence on this board -- gotta love it.