Fall Off Alert!
Backstory:
I called up a few weeks ago to place my order for a "club to go" lunch. No answer. Whatevs. Called the next day. No answer. Uh Oh. Found out there was a remodel going on. New sign, new name, suposedly same ppl, same menu. New name is Tastee Corner Cafe. Website under construction. Hoped my six-fitty-plus-tax-club-sammich would still be on offer when I called today. I ordered it up, and what I got was pretty much a clamshell full of ass. There are rumors floating around that this place will no longer be serving pork because of religious reasons which could explain my "bacon," - which is fine. I forgot to grab a menu, or even look at one while I was there. It didn't even occur to me, since I saw the same guy in back cooking. I thought I was back in business on the "sneaky awesome turkey club on the cheap for lunch" front, but I was sadly, sadly mistaken. Oh, did you want photographic proof of the garbage they slung to me? Funny you should ask.
On first glance,

I noticed that the fries were different. Crinkle cut foodservice variety. But a salty coating was on these. Too salty. Crisp and light though. I did a double take, because I thought I saw a slice of white-ish cheese on the lower right hand corner sammich portion right? So I looked a little closer, and Houston, we have a pretty big f'n problem:

At this point, I knew that I had to grab the camera. Not only was the turkey suspect, but the bacon was as well! Let the games begin! The deconstruction commenced...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I should have thrown my $$$ right in the toilet. Turkey? Surely you jest.
This one tried to jump because it knew I was gonna talk shit about it, I think.

Soon, the whole pile of ass was strewn aside. It reminded me of the scene in Poltergeist where Craig T starts peeling chunks of his face off while looking in the bathroom mirror. There were flaps of wet, gelatinous, ersatz "turkey" just being thrown into this pile:

And then...it was Man Vs Bacon. No amount of training could overcome this foe. Please note, in the pile of garbage turkey they charged me for above, you can see the quality of the meat like subsance has actual pock marks where my guess is that when the concoction was being molded into its final formation, perhaps some gaseuous pockets were trapped when the gelatinous mass was formed. You can tell this is a very high quality chemist's interpretation of a meat. Well guess what? If you can actually stand to stare at these "bacon" pictures without gagging, you'll see little similar pock marks. Yaaaay me! I'm eatin good today!

Oh yeah, your eyes are not deceiving you:

Mmmmmmm. They should accept monopoly money as payment for this faux garbage:

Needless to say, dealbreaker deluxe. Soup was a chicken / rice, and was pretty good, actually. Doubt I'll give this place another chance. I really liked it before. Oh well. Plenty of other places take actual pride in their product.
Tastee Corner Cafe
Same address as former Two Sons
We cannot be friends if you do not know the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip.